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Gorden, 37
United States, Illinois, Sullivan

Online

About Me

Well it occurred to me out of the blue: hey, I think I want to subject myself to as many unsightly idiots as possible. If I'm really lucky, I'll find a quadruple divorcee with three baby daddies while toting a double digit IQ. Ideally of course, I'll just receive a myriad of unthought-out "your hawt" messages from randoms who look like they got stuck at a bus stop without a schedule or an umbrella. And in the rare *** someone actually does catch my eye, I can reach out with a simple hello and be confused for a douche bag* who just wants to get laid and of course never hear anything back. Next week I'll go play in traffic.- normalWhen a guy poses in front of the mirror for a picture - doucheWhen a girl plays the field for her best possible match - normalWhen a guy plays the field for his best possible match - doucheThe ultimate online dating guide for impatient females:Successful? DoucheLow paying job? LoserGood looking? DoucheNot so good looking? CreeperMuscular? Cheating doucheToo skinny? NextA few years younger than average? DoucheA few years older than average? DamagedIntelligent? DoucheStupid? DoucheTen things to know about me:1. I'm a good cook2. I am unbeatable at scrabble3. I drive a stick. Fast. As if I were delivering live human organs4. I'm a year younger than Vin Diesel (if you really want to know, google his age)5. I'm Christian6. I sleep with four pillows so that it doesn't feel like I'm sleeping alone7. If you wear a ponytail holder on your wrist, I already like you8. I can knock 20 pounds per month off of anyone, WITHOUT the gym or starvation9. I haven't traveled in space10. I'm never running for presidentFrequently Asked QuestionsQ - How are you?A - I'm fine. I'll tell you this anyway because I don't know you.Q - Did you have a good workout?A - That's the only reason I go to the gymQ - Why are you single?A - Because I don't have a mutant twin growing out of my neckQ- Any luck on here?A - I still have a profile Hold up on those dinner reservations. My expectations of meeting the one on here are exasperatingly low. I prefer friends first, we can swing for the fences later.Okay, so as you see, I'm listed at 37 even though I'm older. I mean what girl wants a balding old fat guy with a ton of baggage and an erection problem? I've encountered far too many profiles with a cut-off age of 40. So, here I am showing up in search results, complete with very recent pictures.Just like you, I have a few turn-ons and turn-offs. So I'll delve into mine. Tattoos are fine, but no tattoos are impressive. If you have your ear piercings stretched out like a tribal African, not a fan. If you are an Asian or a Hispanic blonde, I have one word: seriously? And why do black women take pictures of themselves from behind with one hand on the wall? I think my skin just crawled as I typed that.I have thoroughly researched the word "few". Most will think either 3 or 4 when they hear this word. Some sources say that the limit in which the word "few" is still applicable is 6, with 7 becoming a bunch. I also found one source that said a "few" can apply up to 11, with 12 of course becoming a dozen. So, that said, if you are indeed a few pounds overweight, I certainly don't mind.Just like you, I don't respond to all of the messages that wind up in my inbox. If you send me a message and I don't respond, don't fret. Just think back to all of the guys in your life that you have ever rejected and take comfort in the fact that it all balances out.Dating sure has changed a lot since the good old days.***'s: Want to go to the dance with me? ***'s: Want to go to the drive in with me? ***'s: What's your sign?***'s: Want to wig? ***'s: Check out my junk.Posting quotes from others is pretty cool, but here are a few I penned myself:"You are a product of your own decisions""Happiness is not an accident""If you want the apple of your eye, grow the right tree""All the good ones aren't taken, they just want a good one too""Every woman is a sweetheart for 3 weeks out of the month""Men are from Earth women are from Earth""Egyptian alcoholics floating down the river are in da Nile""Live life for today pay tomorrow, live life for tomorrow and the world is yours""If you're going to go panning for gold, expect plenty of mud along the way"

PERSONAL INFORMATION

  • Looking for

    woman

  • Relationship

    Never married

  • Have kids

    No

  • Wants kids

    Yes

  • Ethnicity

    Caucasian

  • Faith

    Spiritual but not religious

  • Body type

    Athletic

  • Height

    5'11"

  • Eye color

    Green

  • Smoke

    No

  • Drink

    No

INTERESTS

Electronic Watching TV Fantasy Mystery Romance
Wink Icon color PERSONAL INFORMATION Fave
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SIMILAR PEOPLE

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stars 4.1 out of 5 based Rated 4.1 / 5 Based  on  377 reviews
  • Rashaun from Sullivan | Man | 39 years old | Libra
    Rashaun

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    Man. 39 years old. Zodiac sign: Libra.

    Looking for: woman. In age: 36-46

    [Ok ....hmmm what do you say when all other words have already been spoken.....I am honest , fun , hardworking , simple, and free spirited ..I have two Beautiful kids ...( dont need a mom or a babysitter , theyre houstrained ...lol..!!! ) im a jump in the truck lets go for a ride kinda guy...JAM the tunes ....,and drive til the destination suites us. .I swim like a fish , i run like the wind blows, i jump only as high as a white man can , i crawl as low as u tell me to,,,but i do stand Alone on my feet pretty well...life is meant to be lived ...This is not dress rehearsal ,, we all get one shot make it count ..I wish everyone to have great fun and high spirited times,,Stay Safe and take care .....:..:....' ]

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  • Wallace from Sullivan | Man | 38 years old | Gemini
    Wallace

    Online

    Man. 38 years old. Zodiac sign: Gemini.

    Looking for: woman. In age: 35-45

    Hello Ladies! Thank you for taking time to read my profile. I am a down to earth, open minded, honest (yes, I said honest...probably one of the few honest men left, even been told sometimes I'm to honest. Is there such a thing?) southern gentleman. I am not a partier,weed smoker,drug user, or drinker. If you are, please keep it movin. Life is to short to be wasting it like that. I do like sports, the outdoors, going to the movies,bowling, and more. I am recently divorced after many yrs of marriage, and have three beautiful children. They are my life and focus right now. That being said, I am not lookin for a long tern relationship right from the start. I am seeking a female freind that I can go out with,txt,chat and take it just one day at a time. If it develops into more down the road, so, be it. if we just remain friends, thats ok, because I need some TRUE friends in my life. Personally, I dont care what size you are, rather you are tall or short, rich,poor, or just living paycheck to paycheck. To me none of thats not where someones beauty come from. it goes deeper than the skin, its a reflection of your heart. Dont get me wrong, I do think you have to be attracted to someone. Wanna know more? Well, what you waiting on, message me! Oh.. and yes my eyes are BLUE! ;) Dinner,movies...etc

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  • Galahad from Sullivan | Man | 36 years old | Pisces
    Galahad

    Online

    Man. 36 years old. Zodiac sign: Pisces.

    Looking for: woman. In age: 33-43

    You want to know me? Then you better start asking some questions! I'm an open book and I believe in brutal honesty... If you can't handle that then move along! I'm easy to get along with... But I speak my mind when it matters!I enjoy simple thing like cuddling up on the couch with a movie and some popcorn... But I love to explore new place that I've never been to as well!I'll be who I am... You be who you are... And in the end we can still be friends if nothing else! Let's keep it simple... We can meet somewhere for a drink or two? Then we can reflect on it for a couple of days and see what we really think?

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