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Gorden, 37
United States, Illinois, Sullivan

Offline, last seen Sun, 07 Jun 2026 05:52:08

About Me

Well it occurred to me out of the blue: hey, I think I want to subject myself to as many unsightly idiots as possible. If I'm really lucky, I'll find a quadruple divorcee with three baby daddies while toting a double digit IQ. Ideally of course, I'll just receive a myriad of unthought-out "your hawt" messages from randoms who look like they got stuck at a bus stop without a schedule or an umbrella. And in the rare *** someone actually does catch my eye, I can reach out with a simple hello and be confused for a douche bag* who just wants to get laid and of course never hear anything back. Next week I'll go play in traffic.- normalWhen a guy poses in front of the mirror for a picture - doucheWhen a girl plays the field for her best possible match - normalWhen a guy plays the field for his best possible match - doucheThe ultimate online dating guide for impatient females:Successful? DoucheLow paying job? LoserGood looking? DoucheNot so good looking? CreeperMuscular? Cheating doucheToo skinny? NextA few years younger than average? DoucheA few years older than average? DamagedIntelligent? DoucheStupid? DoucheTen things to know about me:1. I'm a good cook2. I am unbeatable at scrabble3. I drive a stick. Fast. As if I were delivering live human organs4. I'm a year younger than Vin Diesel (if you really want to know, google his age)5. I'm Christian6. I sleep with four pillows so that it doesn't feel like I'm sleeping alone7. If you wear a ponytail holder on your wrist, I already like you8. I can knock 20 pounds per month off of anyone, WITHOUT the gym or starvation9. I haven't traveled in space10. I'm never running for presidentFrequently Asked QuestionsQ - How are you?A - I'm fine. I'll tell you this anyway because I don't know you.Q - Did you have a good workout?A - That's the only reason I go to the gymQ - Why are you single?A - Because I don't have a mutant twin growing out of my neckQ- Any luck on here?A - I still have a profile Hold up on those dinner reservations. My expectations of meeting the one on here are exasperatingly low. I prefer friends first, we can swing for the fences later.Okay, so as you see, I'm listed at 37 even though I'm older. I mean what girl wants a balding old fat guy with a ton of baggage and an erection problem? I've encountered far too many profiles with a cut-off age of 40. So, here I am showing up in search results, complete with very recent pictures.Just like you, I have a few turn-ons and turn-offs. So I'll delve into mine. Tattoos are fine, but no tattoos are impressive. If you have your ear piercings stretched out like a tribal African, not a fan. If you are an Asian or a Hispanic blonde, I have one word: seriously? And why do black women take pictures of themselves from behind with one hand on the wall? I think my skin just crawled as I typed that.I have thoroughly researched the word "few". Most will think either 3 or 4 when they hear this word. Some sources say that the limit in which the word "few" is still applicable is 6, with 7 becoming a bunch. I also found one source that said a "few" can apply up to 11, with 12 of course becoming a dozen. So, that said, if you are indeed a few pounds overweight, I certainly don't mind.Just like you, I don't respond to all of the messages that wind up in my inbox. If you send me a message and I don't respond, don't fret. Just think back to all of the guys in your life that you have ever rejected and take comfort in the fact that it all balances out.Dating sure has changed a lot since the good old days.***'s: Want to go to the dance with me? ***'s: Want to go to the drive in with me? ***'s: What's your sign?***'s: Want to wig? ***'s: Check out my junk.Posting quotes from others is pretty cool, but here are a few I penned myself:"You are a product of your own decisions""Happiness is not an accident""If you want the apple of your eye, grow the right tree""All the good ones aren't taken, they just want a good one too""Every woman is a sweetheart for 3 weeks out of the month""Men are from Earth women are from Earth""Egyptian alcoholics floating down the river are in da Nile""Live life for today pay tomorrow, live life for tomorrow and the world is yours""If you're going to go panning for gold, expect plenty of mud along the way"

PERSONAL INFORMATION

  • Looking for

    woman

  • Relationship

    Never married

  • Have kids

    No

  • Wants kids

    Yes

  • Ethnicity

    Caucasian

  • Faith

    Spiritual but not religious

  • Body type

    Athletic

  • Height

    5'11"

  • Eye color

    Green

  • Smoke

    No

  • Drink

    No

INTERESTS

Electronic Watching TV Fantasy Mystery Romance
Wink Icon color PERSONAL INFORMATION Fave
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SIMILAR PEOPLE

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stars 4.1 out of 5 based Rated 4.1 / 5 Based  on  377 reviews
  • Allarick from Sullivan | Man | 40 years old | Gemini
    Allarick

    Offline

    Man. 40 years old. Zodiac sign: Gemini.

    Looking for: woman. In age: 37-47

    I'm a single dad that has he kids full time!!! They are my life and I want to them to be happy the best I can for the!!! I love sports I coach it I play it my kids play it! I love to go out and meet new people and have fun!! I like movies, playing cards, or just hanging out with someone!!! A walk on the beach is one of my favorite things to do!!! The first date I would like to pick a women up at their place and take them to dinner!! Then after dinner take a nice long slow walk holding hands and start to get to know them better!! Maybe on a beach or something like that.

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  • Tyrell from Sullivan | Man | 36 years old | Virgo
    Tyrell

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    Man. 36 years old. Zodiac sign: Virgo.

    Looking for: woman. In age: 33-43

    I'm a laid back easy going guy. I hate drama and hate being around it. I work hard to support myself. I like to play hard as well. I love to be outdoors...4wheeler riding, at the lake, or hiking. I love summer and don't care too much for cold winter days. I like all types of music and like listening to it, all the time. I exercise to stay healthy and keep in shape. Whatever we agree on...

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  • Keefe from Sullivan | Man | 39 years old | Capricorn
    Keefe

    Offline

    Man. 39 years old. Zodiac sign: Capricorn.

    Looking for: woman. In age: 36-46

    I'd like to think I'm cool, although not outwardly, which should be obvious. Damn you, Fashion! And I'd hope I'm kind, intelligent, and genuine.I'm also a bundle of contradictions. I'm a nerd and a gamer, but I like to work out. I like the Broncos, UFC, and horror movies, but also Masterpiece Theatre, Top Chef, and anime. I'm a movie and BBC geek, a foody, and a music snob.I'm a graphic designer by trade, but I'm back in school (still undecided at the moment). I'd like to travel more but would like a partner in crime to do it with.I'm looking for someone I have stuff in common with, who's unconventional, easygoing, somewhat fit, and not: super needy, emotionally unavailable, or commitment phobic. Music - Baths, El-

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