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Alissa, 45
United States, California, Oxnard

Online

About Me

Hello, I am a mother of 4. My children are 20, 18, 13 and 12. As you can see, they are at the ages that I am able to find ‘me’ time. Ironically, when the kids were much younger and I so wanted ‘me’ time, it was difficult to find that time. Now that the kids are much older I find myself content in staying home to relax. Go figure, lol!! Moving back down south was the best decision I have made in years. Life has had it’ However, since moving here - things have slowly improved and we are all much happier.I have been on and off meetville for quite some time and have come across some very interesting people. I am saying that with a positive and also shocking tone. :) With that said, I figured I would update this section of my profile based on experience here at meetville.I am not someone that casually dates nor am I looking for a friend with benefits. I have developed a process to how I proceed with men that I communicate with on meetville. After a message or two, if I feel that we both have an interest in seeing if there is chemistry I will suggest going a step further and communicate over the phone, if the man has not suggested it himself. I believe in having a minimum of a couple of conversations before discussing if we should meet face to face. Again, the reason for this is because I do not casually date. I have never been good at it and just don’t like it. I feel if two people give of themselves in the communication process over the phone, you not only feel that initial chemistry you can start the process of building a solid foundation to something that could turn into wonderful commitment. I can tell you, without a doubt, I will know prior to seeing you face to face whether I want to see you more than that initial get together. I believe and have seen it happen, that two people can fall for one another in those phone conversations. I am not saying that they fall in love; however, two people most definitely can decide two concentrate on one another exclusively to see where the relationship goes. Once we decide to move forward exclusively - I do not believe it is fair to stay on any dating site. I believe it is only fair to hide your profile and focus on one another. Once we meet and the sparks seem to fly, then removing any and all dating sites from our lives is a must.I also believe in setting boundaries with others of the opposite sex once in a relationship. I do not believe in me having a girls night out and the man having a man’s night out. I do not believe in us, individually, hanging out with the opposite sex without one another. I believe in doing things together. Now, most of ya’ll men do hunt. Okay, that is your ‘man’ time away from me. I accept that without any issue. Fishing? Sometimes I would enjoy going, however, again, I have no problem in that either. However, I think it is only fair not to take advantage of that. Let’s face it, the time traveling to and from work and working takes a lot of the day away, when you get home I want to spend that time together. Even if it is just relaxing at home. I am not one that has to go out all the time. I am a very passionate person in my beliefs and in loving the person I am with. I have a lot of love to offer. I am looking for my best friend. Someone that I can trust not to use anything I share with him against me at a later time when we are not happy with one another. That is a huge mistake some couples make these days and it is totally wrong to do that. I want to trust you with all that I am, and why I am the way I am today. I want to give myself completely to the man I end up with. And I want the same in return. I need that type of relationship. And if I do not find it, then I would rather remain alone.Okay, I am in my mid-forties, you will be around that age as well. We all have a past and we have all gone through some bad times. I have NO problem in you sharing your past with me, I would LOVE to know about it. And, I have no problem understanding that because of our pasts, it is sometimes hard to trust the person we find for our present and future that we are interested in. I get that. We ALL just have to remember, we are NOT that person from our past. And I know the type of person I am, I am willing to help you move forward, as well as hoping you will help me move forward together. It’s a process, and sometimes it goes slow, and sometimes we feel it is so right that it moves forward quickly. Either way, it will be fine as long as we both remain open and honest with one another and COMMUNICATE. I want to communicate about the smallest of life to the big things in life. We all of weaknesses, the great thing is - hopefully I can be your strength and motivator in those areas and you being that for me in my weaknesses. I want to have individual goals that we both support one another on as well as have goals together that we continue to work towards daily.Another thing, if you are waiting for life to be at a perfect time before you allow someone close to you, you will be waiting for a very long time my friends. That is not how it should go. The person you end up dating should accept where you are at and be there for you, etc. I am not one into wasting time. If we like one another lets go for it and see where it goes.If you work odd hours? Let ME decide if I can handle it, don’t say “It’s not fair, wait til I get a better job with better hours or wait til I get better hours at work.” You are underestimating my ability to accept you for who you are and where you are in life right here right now. Again, life is too short. Let’s enjoy the hours we can, regardless of when they are in a day. As long as I know we are committed to one another, I will go to Infinity and back with you.I will be completely open and state - I am not working at the present time. However, in NO way, shape, or form am I looking for someone to take care of me financially. I am okay. If a woman has to be employed to meet your standards, then I guess you can continue to view other profiles. However, I will say, I think it is unfair to pass judgment and assume I am not worth it as a possible partner because I am not working right now. I can and will explain this to the man that grabs my attention and I feel a connection with. And I will close with this. I do not have a particular type I am attracted to as far as hair, eyes, etc. I just know it when I see it. As for body type? I am not rock hard, but will be going back to the gym here in the next week and plan to tone up (not build up). I am not going to require that you be rock solid either! Nor am I attracted to someone that is obese. I am sorry, I just have to be honest. I am NO Depends on how close we have become. Meet at Starbucks and then move forward to dinner, movie, and or a very romantic evening.

PERSONAL INFORMATION

  • Looking for

    man

  • Relationship

    Divorced

  • Have kids

    No

  • Wants kids

    Someday

  • Ethnicity

    Caucasian

  • Faith

    Christian

  • Body type

    Average

  • Height

    5'0"

  • Eye color

    Blue

  • Smoke

    No

  • Drink

    Yes, socially

INTERESTS

Reading Watching Movies Greek Indonesian Spanish
Wink Icon color PERSONAL INFORMATION Fave
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