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Elisha, 34
United States, Georgia, Sandy Springs

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About Me

(Author's Note: I know that with these internet profiles, you're suppose to put your best foot forward in your vain attempt to attract more attention then everybody else. However, I learned a long time ago that isn't always the best thing to do. So what I've decided to do is put my WORST foot forward since if you can't survive my profile, then there's no way you're going to be able to survive me! Humor is a huge part of my life so if you don't find what's below humorous, then we'll probably never get along.)I consider myself to be an honest man. In fact, anyone that has ever known me has considered me to be not just honest, but brutally honest; meaning that even when I SHOULD lie, I don't. So in light of this wonderful quality that I have so mastered, I have decided to make this section a complete no-holds-barred truth session about me. I once told my Mother that I thought there should be a reality show about me. Her response to that was simply "I don't think the world is quite reeady for you." Touché Mother... Touché. I am the director for Odyssey Paranormal Society. If you have any questions or stories for me, I'd be happy to hear/answer them! Check us out on ***/OdysseyParanormalSociety. Looking for new members if you know of anyone!I once accidentally wore a Santa suit to a funeral I wasn't invited to. True story!An anagram for my name is "Manche Oil Lie". I don't know what that is, but it sounds awesome! Friends comes and go, but styrofoam; now THAT lasts forever! What? Didn't think a guy could think of something that deep? I'm a variable kiddie pool of deep thinking!Even though I’m a Packers fan come football season, the Twins have always been my team when it comes to Baseball. I remember spending the night at my Grandma’s and listening on the radio the night Puckett hit the game winning home run during the ’87 World Series. I jumped out of bed and ran to the livingroom to watch the replay on TV. I don’t think I’d ever run so fast in my life and still haven’t! But, I’m smarter now than I was back then, so if I were to race against my former self, I would simply stick my foot out and trip me! I’d never see it coming! I really like to fight. Not "Fight Club" style fighting (although if it was I couldn't talk about it) but just having stupid debates about the most assinine topics. A lot of the time, I'll pick sides that don't even come close to what I actually believe just so I can debate someone about it. So, you'd better bring your A+ game!I love golf! Why? The shorter answer is: What do I NOT like about Golf? I don't like trees and the fact that I keep going in them. I don't like slow players because then I have to wait for the area to clear before I can hit my ball out of the trees. I don't like rain and how it makes me and the long grass wet which increases the difficulty of my hitting my ball out of the trees once the slow people have cleared the area. LOVE everything else!Think I’m a great catch yet? Well you should! I'm a hopeless romantic and I can't help but be so. I send flowers for no reason, write poetry, and plan lavish dinners just because it's fun. I have no idea how I manage to still be straight... Oh well. I think I'm pretty smart, and I'm about as creative as a person can get. I know looking over that list of wonderful adjectives that I just seem too good to be true. Well, you’re right. Whereas those are all true, I'm also exceptionally sarcastic and crude. To sum up: I'm pretty awesome!What the problem here is, you women don't want just a nice guy. You want a nice guy who is HOT. And why wouldn't you? Why wouldn't you settle for a good looking man with the personality of a grapefruit and an ego the size of Texas? Sure, he may be able to make his man-boobs do the Marcarena and I can only make mine do the hopscotch, but I'll make you far happier than he ever will, and that's a guarantee. I draw a mean stick figure. Seriously, it's phenomenal. You'd take one look at it and go "Oh. My. God. I've never seen anything like that!" I'd just say, "I know." Then we'd make sweet, sweet love. Oh yeah... they're that good.There's two kinds of people that I hate. The people who use the phrase "Life is too short..." (because, come on, what can you possibly do that's LONGER???) And the people who write a description of themselves right next to their picture! (Are you kidding me!? I can SEE you know! Do I really need to READ it? Do you not think that I'll be able to tell from your PICTURE what you look like? I may be a guy, but I'm not THAT stupid!)It just makes me want to club a baby seal. Seriously, if there was one next to me, I would grab a club and just go to town on the thing! I hate it that much! Oh, and shorthand. Can't STAND shorthand! It's like I'm talking to a retarded gorilla. And I said retarded gorilla because I'm sure a non-retarded one could type in a more understandable way. This is just a warning, but don’t ask me stupid questions like: “What are you thinking about?â€

PERSONAL INFORMATION

  • Looking for

    woman

  • Relationship

    Never married

  • Have kids

    No

  • Wants kids

    Yes

  • Ethnicity

    Caucasian

  • Faith

    Atheist

  • Body type

    Curvy

  • Height

    6'0"

  • Eye color

    Blue

  • Smoke

    No

  • Drink

    No

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  • Alfonzo from Sandy Springs | Man | 51 years old | Taurus
    Alfonzo

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    Man. 51 years old. Zodiac sign: Taurus.

    Looking for: woman. In age: 41-61

    Ok I am intelligent, witty and have a great personality. I suffer from a few diagnosed diseases.... , acute dimples, acute face. Also i am humble. :)I am sick of the mundane.. But that doesn't mean I don't appreciate simple things in life.If you have attitude. If you are playful, adventurous daring and broadminded.If you tell your friends that you don't want to go out tonight because you have to re arrange your wardrobe and panties in brand order and if the word monogamy is missing from your Greater Oxford Dictionary and your Funk and Wagnells come and chat.Lets see what happens. It could be drinks it could be more. But lets chat first...

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  • Edgardo from Sandy Springs | Man | 48 years old | Virgo
    Edgardo

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    Man. 48 years old. Zodiac sign: Virgo.

    Looking for: woman. In age: 38-58

    The hair will grow back. I will keep the bald look for a minute. If I find somebody special who tells me that she does or doesn't like it, I will accommodate either way!I'm no pushover and I tell it like it is... For *** vein, belligerent, toxic, good for nothing of a woman who insulted the crap out of me for saying hello and asking how she was doing? Her reply back to me being (and no I'm not exagerating and yes it did hurt)... "Omg. Texting a woman that is so far out of your league is sick! You're have mental illness. You're bald, you don't know how to dress, your face is gross and your fat." Lady, my reply back to you is let me see you step on the wrong side of the law just 1- time and I pray to God I'll be the Officer who catches you! LOL. :-) Now, for the real me ... I'm easy going, honest and trustworthy. I'm truly affectionate and I am looking for the same in return. I'm a great kisser and I love hugging and holding hands.Morales and values are important in life. What I’m doing with my life...I am a police officer. I live by honor, integrity and professionalism. I treat people fairly. I try to be nice when people allow me to be (Professionalism matters), even when I have to Cite or arrest someone afterwards. But, we are trained to do what it takes to get home to our loved ones at the end of the day.The media has tried to destroy the reputation of police officers. No police officer plans on going out on his or her shift with the purpose to harm, kill or destroy anything or anyone. You've got us confused with the bad guys if you think that way.Every single profession out there has bad guys in it. The bad guys are very few and far between in the law enforcement field, meaning the majority of police officers are really good guys and gals!I’m really good at...Listening and finding solutions to problems.The first things people usually notice about me...My eyes. The eyes are the gateway to the soul.Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food...I just saw the new Jurassic World. Great movie!Food: Not much into seafood. I like most organic foods and pretty much anything else works for me. I can eat a vegan meal, but I like my meat as well. Everything in moderation.The six things I could never do without...GodMy family and FriendsWorkHealthLoveI spend a lot of time thinking about...Work and familyOn a typical Friday night I am...Cuddling while talking or while in front of a DVD, going out to eat, shooting pool, dancing, going for walks in the park or to museums, target shooting. Oh, and romance and intimacy are important in a relationship as well.The most private thing I’m willing to admit...I have a sensitive side.You should message me if...If you're the type of person to put all of your efforts into a relationship.Coffee, tea, food, drinks, walk in the park, target shooting, movies, cuddling, romance

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  • Cj from Sandy Springs | Man | 42 years old | Cancer
    Cj

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    Man. 42 years old. Zodiac sign: Cancer.

    Looking for: woman. In age: 24-33

    Hi! My name is Cj. I am never married other african man without kids from Sandy Springs, Georgia, United States. Now I'm looking for new relationships. I want to meet a woman, love of my life.

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