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Elisha, 34

Offline, last seen Tue, 10 Mar 2026 22:07:07

About Me

(Author's Note: I know that with these internet profiles, you're suppose to put your best foot forward in your vain attempt to attract more attention then everybody else. However, I learned a long time ago that isn't always the best thing to do. So what I've decided to do is put my WORST foot forward since if you can't survive my profile, then there's no way you're going to be able to survive me! Humor is a huge part of my life so if you don't find what's below humorous, then we'll probably never get along.)I consider myself to be an honest man. In fact, anyone that has ever known me has considered me to be not just honest, but brutally honest; meaning that even when I SHOULD lie, I don't. So in light of this wonderful quality that I have so mastered, I have decided to make this section a complete no-holds-barred truth session about me. I once told my Mother that I thought there should be a reality show about me. Her response to that was simply "I don't think the world is quite reeady for you." Touché Mother... Touché. I am the director for Odyssey Paranormal Society. If you have any questions or stories for me, I'd be happy to hear/answer them! Check us out on ***/OdysseyParanormalSociety. Looking for new members if you know of anyone!I once accidentally wore a Santa suit to a funeral I wasn't invited to. True story!An anagram for my name is "Manche Oil Lie". I don't know what that is, but it sounds awesome! Friends comes and go, but styrofoam; now THAT lasts forever! What? Didn't think a guy could think of something that deep? I'm a variable kiddie pool of deep thinking!Even though I’m a Packers fan come football season, the Twins have always been my team when it comes to Baseball. I remember spending the night at my Grandma’s and listening on the radio the night Puckett hit the game winning home run during the ’87 World Series. I jumped out of bed and ran to the livingroom to watch the replay on TV. I don’t think I’d ever run so fast in my life and still haven’t! But, I’m smarter now than I was back then, so if I were to race against my former self, I would simply stick my foot out and trip me! I’d never see it coming! I really like to fight. Not "Fight Club" style fighting (although if it was I couldn't talk about it) but just having stupid debates about the most assinine topics. A lot of the time, I'll pick sides that don't even come close to what I actually believe just so I can debate someone about it. So, you'd better bring your A+ game!I love golf! Why? The shorter answer is: What do I NOT like about Golf? I don't like trees and the fact that I keep going in them. I don't like slow players because then I have to wait for the area to clear before I can hit my ball out of the trees. I don't like rain and how it makes me and the long grass wet which increases the difficulty of my hitting my ball out of the trees once the slow people have cleared the area. LOVE everything else!Think I’m a great catch yet? Well you should! I'm a hopeless romantic and I can't help but be so. I send flowers for no reason, write poetry, and plan lavish dinners just because it's fun. I have no idea how I manage to still be straight... Oh well. I think I'm pretty smart, and I'm about as creative as a person can get. I know looking over that list of wonderful adjectives that I just seem too good to be true. Well, you’re right. Whereas those are all true, I'm also exceptionally sarcastic and crude. To sum up: I'm pretty awesome!What the problem here is, you women don't want just a nice guy. You want a nice guy who is HOT. And why wouldn't you? Why wouldn't you settle for a good looking man with the personality of a grapefruit and an ego the size of Texas? Sure, he may be able to make his man-boobs do the Marcarena and I can only make mine do the hopscotch, but I'll make you far happier than he ever will, and that's a guarantee. I draw a mean stick figure. Seriously, it's phenomenal. You'd take one look at it and go "Oh. My. God. I've never seen anything like that!" I'd just say, "I know." Then we'd make sweet, sweet love. Oh yeah... they're that good.There's two kinds of people that I hate. The people who use the phrase "Life is too short..." (because, come on, what can you possibly do that's LONGER???) And the people who write a description of themselves right next to their picture! (Are you kidding me!? I can SEE you know! Do I really need to READ it? Do you not think that I'll be able to tell from your PICTURE what you look like? I may be a guy, but I'm not THAT stupid!)It just makes me want to club a baby seal. Seriously, if there was one next to me, I would grab a club and just go to town on the thing! I hate it that much! Oh, and shorthand. Can't STAND shorthand! It's like I'm talking to a retarded gorilla. And I said retarded gorilla because I'm sure a non-retarded one could type in a more understandable way. This is just a warning, but don’t ask me stupid questions like: “What are you thinking about?â€

PERSONAL INFORMATION

  • Looking for

    woman

  • Relationship

    Never married

  • Have kids

    No

  • Wants kids

    Yes

  • Ethnicity

    Caucasian

  • Faith

    Atheist

  • Body type

    Curvy

  • Height

    6'0"

  • Eye color

    Blue

  • Smoke

    No

  • Drink

    No

SIMILAR PEOPLE

Great
stars 4.1 out of 5 based Rated 4.1 / 5 Based  on  377 reviews
  • Orville

    Offline

    Man. 61 years old. Zodiac sign: Cancer.

    Looking for: woman. In age: 51-71

    I spend my free time volunteering on Board of Directors for various charities. I work primarily with Veterans organizations, and on projects that focus on helping children. I have also built houses with Habitats for Humanity ...I believe in paying it forward, and strive to leave a place better then when I arrived!I raised my two daughters by myself from the age of 2 & 6...they are my greatest accomplishment, but also the reason I have gray hair! lol ...I have two adorable grandchildren, as well as two granddogs.Iam a down to earth, high energy guy who loves to dance all night, or just kick back at home with a glass of Vino and someone special.Love to travel and experience other cultures. I enjoy cruising, and spending time in the tropics.Comfortable in anything from a tee-shirt to a Tux... I enjoy my own company, but prefer to explore the world with a partner. I have a good sense of humor, and enjoy making.... others smile/laugh. I am both financially, and emotionally secure...my only baggage is that which we pack for our next trip...I'm a romantic who will bring you flowers just because I was thinking of you. If you like a man who opens your car door, holds your chair, and helps you on with your coat, then I'm your guy....IT'S CALLED SHOWING RESPECT! A very affectionate one woman man, who is not looking for a woman I can live with, but rather a woman I can not live without...Our first meeting should be at a casual place where we can hear each other talk, and you feel safe. On our first date we can do something we would both enjoy... dinner & dancing is a good place to start. The more I get to know about you, the more creative I can get on planning places we can explore together.

  • Raymundo

    Offline

    Man. 68 years old. Zodiac sign: Aries.

    Looking for: woman. In age: 58-78

    To me the only thing that matters to any of us is love unity togetherness, we all connected to one another and have a responsibility for each other, likes humor, compassion, honesty, being physically and emotionally together with a good heart. Dislikes people who are rude arrogant and indifferent to others. Hobbies Art reading ,Internet, films, became a Jeweler for 28 yrs which I enjoyed, I driver a bus as of the last few years and find relaxing. I do think traveling would be fun seeing other country's and cultures, Music from west Africa , Soul and Blues, Detroit sound, British and American 60 sand 70s music, classic, jazz, Food love chicken curry with vegetables and brown rice follow with red wine and dark chocolate.A public place where we could walk and talk and get to know each other than trying to talk in a crowded bar or tea/coffee house.

  • Ed

    Offline

    Man. 35 years old. Zodiac sign: Aquarius.

    Looking for: woman. In age: 25-45

    I love to have fun from being outside to just relaxing at the house grilling. I just want to find that girl I just can't live without, the girl that will love me for me. The one that will always be on your mind and make you smile just thinking about her. The one that makes you feel better when you have a bad day and I can have fun with and show you affection where ever you are and don't care what people think. Im trying to find my soulmate and start a family with, I'm not getting any younger. I don't want to rush nothing but I'm ready to find that special and start a family with. I've been through a lot the last three years that has cause me to lose everything and I'm trying to get my life back on track so if that seems like a problem don't waste mine or your time. Maybe I'm asking to much but I just want to be happy and find the woman that's right for me. It will happen when it's suppose to.going somewhere and talking, getting to know each other..a walk in the park or anything else romantic or something fun to take the stress off a first date ..stare up at the stars on a clear night and just talk.

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