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Pat, 40
United States, Georgia, Kathleen

Online

About Me

I’ve been on-and-off online dating for quite a while now and have yet to find that perfect someone, so I’m overhauling my profile. No more sincere soliloquies about my beliefs or philosophies or self-aggrandizing claims about my awesomeness. I’ve read enough women’Above all else, all women claim to want a man both intelligent and funny. A distant second is the requirement that a man have his sh*t together (own a car, pay his bills, not live with his mother, that kind of thing). A large proportion of women are obsessed with grammar (there/their/they’re, your/you’re, no text message shorthand, etc), and a similar number require that no pictures of a man’s profile show him posing with his shirt off.So now I’ll just make sure I meet all those requirements and the women will come flocking, right? Or do y’all just look at the pictures too? ;)Okay, no topless pictures? Check.Any self-Look it up! Oh, and I'm dying to meet someone who can use the phrase "transitive verb" in a sentence without sounding like a douche-bag.sh*t together: I own a car and a truck. Zero credit card debt. No student loans. Credit score: 800. (ooh, this getting you hot yet?)Intelligent? Top of my class in grad school, IQ: 133, music performance scholarship for undergrad, SAT: ***. (“Oh yeah baby. Give me more! Statistics make me HOT” – a phrase never uttered)Funny? Well, here are some vignettes that I find witty or interesting and say a little about me. If you connect with some of this and find me as hilarious as do I, then let’s meet up sometime:Favorite bumper sticker: On a compact car: “Nice Hummer. Sorry about your penis.”I’ll know I’ve “made it” when I have a midget in my posse.I only buy used books."If you go back to someones place and they don't have books, DON'T F*CK THEM!" -The best quote from Obama is not,”Yes, we can”. It’s, ””I absolutely love to sing and dance. I have limited talents for both.I’m exceptionally creative, but in a “let’s knock out this wall” kind of way and not so much in a “let’s write poetry and get matching tattoos and both wear women’s jeans to be ironic” kind of way.I want to poke old people at funerals and whisper, “You’re next.”I want to be a teacher just for a week so I can write a multiple-choice test where all of the correct answers are “C”...except one.If life gives you melons, you may be dyslexic.Haikus are easyBut sometimes they don't make senseRefrigerator47% of all statistics are made up on the spot.“Hell is other people.” -SartreStop saying that you “rescued” a dog. You didn’t run into a burning building. You went down to the pound to get a free dog.I submitted 10 puns to a writing contest. Did any of them win? No pun in ten did.I’ve submitted both a job application and a personal reference as a series of limericks. (really!)"When you smoke the herb, it reveals you to yourself." - Bob MarleyIf you have a parrot and you don't teach it to say, "Help, they've turned me into a parrot", then you're just wasting everybody's time.Most people are like Slinkys, not really good for anything, yet you cant help but smile when they tumble down the stairs.I've learned that I cannot make someone love me. All I can do is stalk her and hope she panics and gives in. :)I support abortion, but only through the 23rd trimester.Thoughts on religion:Jesus is like Elvis...I like some of the stuff they did, but their fans are f***ing annoying."Is god willing to prevent evil, but is not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able but not wiling? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence comes evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him god?" – EpicurusReligion is like a penis: It's okay to have one and be proud of it, but don't take it out in public and don't shove it down my throat.When I see a profile that says, "Looking for a God-fearing man", I always want to ask, "Which God?" But then I realize that this person probably lacks the ability to continue this conversation on an intellectual level.I'm a secular humanist. That means I like people and think we should try be to good and fair to everyone. (If this sounds like "Christian values" to you, then you haven't read the bible.) My core beliefs have nothing to do with hating or judging other people, so I am not welcome in any of the worlds major religions.To most Christians the bible is like a software license agreement: don't read it, just go to the end and click "I agree".Oops, sorry, just got all serious up in here!Things to check out that I find F**king hilarious:Bill BurrJohn Mulaney's bit "Best meal I ever had" This is a dumb question. I love taking walks on the beach leading back to a lavish cabana with rose petals spread on the bed and champagne and strawberries chilling next to the bubble bath. After a night of gentle and perfect love-making, I wake up to working out my massive muscles, but I rush home to make you breakfast in bed. Then I spend the rest of the day sitting quietly - only speaking when you need me to agree with you - while we watch Lifetime movies and I give you a foot massage. I have been surgically extracted from a soap opera.

PERSONAL INFORMATION

  • Looking for

    woman

  • Relationship

    Never married

  • Have kids

    No

  • Wants kids

    Someday

  • Ethnicity

    Caucasian

  • Faith

    Spiritual but not religious

  • Body type

    Average

  • Height

    5'9"

  • Eye color

    Green

  • Smoke

    No

  • Drink

    Yes, regularly

INTERESTS

Drag Racing Play Sport Games
Wink Icon color PERSONAL INFORMATION Fave
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  • Crispin from Kathleen | Man | 36 years old | Aquarius
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    Looking for: woman. In age: 33-43

    im a verry hard worker and love to travel and to see new things. my daughter is my everything and strive to make her life easier... anywhere we can have a good conversation...

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  • Deemer from Kathleen | Man | 38 years old | Gemini
    Deemer

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    Man. 38 years old. Zodiac sign: Gemini.

    Looking for: woman. In age: 35-45

    My self-summaryWho am I? That is a good question, a damn good question, one that many men and women have tried to answer since we crawled out of the primordial muck, looked into the heavens and saw the cold dead stars and screamed, "Why am I here!!!"I believe that I can be described as somewhat foolish, heroic, warm, loving, charming, rouge--loving, magical, ordinary, serious, childlike, and wishful, a dreamer, a poet, an actor, a fighter and a lover;-tongued devil, as well as a stuttering schoolboy. I’m a rare catch, I am understanding and have full visiting rights with my emotions, but I am also stable and look to the future but live in the present. I like to treat women well and don’t think princess means high maintenance. I think princess is just the first step to being my Queen of hearts. (I am also apparently very cheesy..sigh)I am something of an anachronism; I still believe that a man should hold open a door for women, and god forbid pull her chair out for her. I feel romance and life should never be ordinary, that it is ok to bringing flowers "just because"I want my girlfriend to "doubt the stars are fire, never doubt my hearts desire..."Yet I understand where woman have come from, and I would never want to take away their rights or feelings. It was a long road to suffragette city and a strong man stands by his lady’s’ values and decisions.I love creative women, in all forms; artists or musicians or actresses, or even a librarian with a wild and creative spirit. I'm looking for that girl, who is a refined lady; someone who understands that manners are not a lost art.A woman who understands the power of words and deeds, she understands that nothing is trivial and little gestures can take your breath away; someone who I will call and she will say" I am so glad you called."(And she will mean it.) A woman who laughs easily and that understands wit and sarcasm and can respond in kind.My romantic equal/partner will understand the appeal of Halloween and dressing up for the Renaissance festival.I think she would be wonderful if she appreciates the little things like the fact that when we are out together, no other women exists, I would never do her the dishonor of looking over her shoulder for something better, and she would do the same for me. She will bask in the knowledge that I will know when she changes her hair, I can be a shoulder to cry on, and I will always know how candlelight reflects in her eyes. That it’s ok to spend time in silence with each other or that she can go out and have a girl’s night, I respect her space.I think the T.V show scrubs said it best, "The person you are meant to be with is the person, who at the end of the day is there for you, and you didn't even have to ask them to be there for you.." Wise words and I have always wanted to be that person, to someone that cares...Yet I want a girl who will play video/board games and cry at movies with me, a girl who dreams of finding that other half, some who will slow dance to no music with me and not care what other people say about us. I am looking for a rare and magical person. Who is right for me.In the end most people are afraid of happiness, and if you’re afraid to make that connection and be happy, keep looking elsewhere. So any old souls and dreamers, I'm looking for you.“There is no *** that of the heart.~;"Also have started pistol shooting and I do enjoy it!I talk with my hands a lot, and sometimes slip ASL signs into the conversation.Am almost always speaking to or at least acknowledging strangers, at the least I can do is smile with some ease at another person, it could make their day that much better. I mean after all, the person you smile at, may be thinking that no one cares about them at all.P.G.“I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe.I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate.All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.You might just be a perfect women, if you know where this quote is from...You are a cool geeky girl, must love Halloween! You and me laughing tell we can't breath, quoting movies and singing songs!

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