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Joses, 38

Offline, last seen Sat, 11 Jul 2026 02:38:37

About Me

Online surveys show I am 17% On Tuesdays after 4pm I perform spleen transplants at no charge. I'm an expert in Tae-- I am a private citizen, yet receive fan mail. Critic’s worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wears. I can touch MC Hammer and I don’ While sailing the seven seas I discovered an eighth. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life… but forgot to write it down. On Mondays I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees. He generally refers to myself in fourth person. The laws of physics do not apply to me.If you’ve made it this far and laughed please continue... if you’re scratching your head please move on to the next profile. Half a brain and a sense of humor are prerequisites for me. (If you want to know more about me look up at my interests.)***NOTE*** If you are “chucking deuces” and doing the “duck face" in all your profile pics then please get in your car, lock the doors and drive it into a lake. Thanks! Cordless bungee jumping... It's the latest smash hit!

PERSONAL INFORMATION

  • Looking for

    woman

  • Relationship

    Never married

  • Have kids

    No

  • Wants kids

    Someday

  • Ethnicity

    Caucasian

  • Faith

    Spiritual but not religious

  • Body type

    Average

  • Height

    6'0"

  • Eye color

    Hazel

  • Smoke

    No

  • Drink

    Yes, socially

INTERESTS

SIMILAR PEOPLE

Great
stars 4.1 out of 5 based Rated 4.1 / 5 Based  on  377 reviews
  • Johann

    Offline

    Man. 40 years old. Zodiac sign: Libra.

    Looking for: woman. In age: 37-47

    First of all...its hard taking pics of yourself to put on here!! Lol...I'm hoping to meet someone where it comes natural to make each other happy and smile. Also hoping for the "spark" or attraction to be there immediately. I would like to meet someone who I can have good conversation with, make each other laugh, know that we have each others backs, and be able to have fun together regardless of what we are doing. I am happy with my life, but would love to find that special women to spend it with. I love giving back massages and running my fingers through hair. If you like those things, I'm your man.:-) My hobbies include doing fun things with my boys, riding motorcycles, 4 wheelers, fishing, and sports. I go to the gym at least 3 days a week. I would also add that Im not a big drinker or partier. Not saying I want drink occassionally but def not daily.I think fairy tales can come true! :-)Want to know more just ask... Meet for coffee or dinner...if first impression is mutual attraction...continue to get to know each other.

  • Aldous

    Offline

    Man. 37 years old. Zodiac sign: Virgo.

    Looking for: woman. In age: 34-44

    Hi this is the hardest part of filling these out. I consider myself to be a teddy bear Lol well I like the outdoors fishing, camping, and swimming in the pool. some things I like to do is go bowling, play golf(though im not very good), ride the motorcycle and 4- I also have a race car and go racing on weekends during the summer. I like all kinds of music from rock to country.I do live in the country.Ii hate liers and cheaters. Im strait up and forward I say it like it is. Favorite movie quote " my kind of girl is 20% angle 80% devil and not afraid to get a little engine dirt on her" anybody know the movie? Summer time will be here soon. So if your Into fast cars maybe ill take you to the drag strip or just a quiet walk so we can talk, diner is the normal. But I'm up for about anything fun.

  • Declan

    Offline

    Man. 40 years old. Zodiac sign: Virgo.

    Looking for: woman. In age: 37-47

    Hi! I am Dan. I have had zero luck meeting people and making it work. So now I will be brutally honest. I live with my parents for now. Not because I am a loser...because it is tough out there alone for one thing...and I also have spent money somewhat carelessly on "toys". My job is not the best but it pays the bills that I do have. I play video games....I have a wii, a 360, a ps3, and a 3ds. I really only play the ***though. I come with absolutely no baggage..no strings...and no drama. I am free to pursue whatever or whoever I want as i have plenty of time to devote to the right person. I'm a TOTAL halloween freak. Dressing as micheal myers haha. I love horror and sci-fi movies primarily. I love metal music primarily. I LOVE to cycle. I have like 3 bikes. I ride a motorcycle...play the drums(kinda), I own guns (yes I am republican and if you work hard for your money you should be too!) I enjoy camping and I love animals. Of course I love our sports teams...I am a guy. I watch as much as I can. otherwise not much tv outside of walking dead. I also love cape cod! I would love to live there. Nothing beats biking along the canal at sunset. I guess I will stop there. Please, if you would like to meet be avidly interested in any of the above.(especially cycling) as that would eliminate any work trying to fit in to someone's schedule or "putting up" with someone's hobbies as I have discovered that people eventually become irked by other's interests. I never understood why that when people meet it's cool at first and then there is no time for any of the stuff you liked before.so I guess I am a little selective...not on looks or body so much as the mutual interest thing. So yea.... I would love to find someone who can legitimently enjoy what I do. A "match" if you will. Thanks for reading and good luck! Anything easier then just meeting for a drink or going for a walk and talking?

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