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Oswaldo, 33

Online

About Me

SWM in non-existant job seeks hostile woman for tepid sex, hustling, and mutual psychological torture. I enjoy drinking, smoking, pornography, and self-righteous indignation. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure. I can't stand movies, and the last album I bought was The Elvis Presley Revival Band's Greatest Hits. Way down deep, I'm very shallow. I have middling intelligence but try to appear smarter by affecting a world-weary air, memorizing pointless quotes of classical works, and chuckling at my own mean-spirited, agenda-driven jokes. I'm 31, but look 58 and feel 65. I'm looking for a fun evening that doesn't end in a puddle of vomit or at the emergency room. I am looking for a good time and a few laughs that have nothing to do with your nude photos. I'm not holding my breath, but I am looking for interesting conversation with someone that will not have to be quoted later on in a courtroom.YOU: You are a man-hating, bitter shrew with a misplaced sense of entitlement and unrealistic expectations. In time you will become coolly hostile when I don't fulfill every unmet need you've ever had. You feel very strongly about woman's rights and equality when it suits your purpose. You filled your profile with generalities, and yet you expect guys to guess what you are interested in when writing to you. Extra credit if you just finished dating every guy in town but now want to take your time with me. For our first date we should head over to Wal- You wouldn't have to get all dressed up an stuff, I could find out what your favorite color was and you could find out if I blush when we walk through the lingerie section. I would be open to an unsatisfying fling that leaves me filled with regret and dread but prefer a long-term, soul crushing descent into booze and pills. Age unimportant, but I will condescend to women under 20 and rehash mother issues with women over 49, serious replies please…P.S. This hopefully made you laugh because it is fictitious. I think a good first meet up would be for coffee and figure out if we click. I'm old school and a first date needs to be asked in person.

PERSONAL INFORMATION

  • Looking for

    woman

  • Relationship

    Never married

  • Have kids

    No

  • Wants kids

    Someday

  • Ethnicity

    Caucasian

  • Faith

    Christian

  • Body type

    Average

  • Height

    5'7"

  • Eye color

    Green

  • Smoke

    No

  • Drink

    No

INTERESTS

SIMILAR PEOPLE

Great
stars 4.1 out of 5 based Rated 4.1 / 5 Based  on  377 reviews
  • Babe

    Online

    Man. 35 years old. Zodiac sign: Cancer.

    Looking for: woman. In age: 32-42

    Well, a little bit about me... I am shy at first. I have a good sense of humor. I am layed back and easy going. I won't tell to much about me, that kind of defeats the purpose of getting to know one another but if you would like to know something feel free to ask.

  • Rayner

    Online

    Man. 32 years old. Zodiac sign: Leo.

    Looking for: woman. In age: 29-39

    I live by myself in my own house. I have a full time job and I own a small motorcycle/powersports business. I even rent out the house next door to my neighbors/tenants. So I have my life pretty well put together as far as money and a plan. But I get lonely. I am an athlete. I run and work out nearly everyday. I was recently in a near fatal motorcycle accident. Staying in good shape is very important to me.I'm not interested in girls who know more about celebrities than world events. I am looking for someone with culture, not a ditz. That doesn't mean I don't like pretty girls that want to be treated like a princess. I'm good with that, just not a stupid princess. I love learning new things and the best way to do that is to talk with someone smart. If I am learning something new, I'll just keep listening.I really want to make the right girl happy. For me, pleasing someone who really appreciates it, is the best feeling. I can get kind of romantic at times and I constantly flirt once I know its okay. I am kind of silly and outgoing. I think guys that act tough are a joke and I don't do that macho crap. I am not a player or into random hook ups. I am a very loyal friend and I never cheat, its too cruel. I'm not a downer about life because I have been so fortunate and I am grateful for it. I want to share my optimism.If you are the one I'm looking for, distance isn't an issue so long it's not an issue for you. Like I said earlier, I love road trips. Meet for drinks? Dinner and a movie? Go out for ice cream? I'm down for whatever.

  • Taegan

    Online

    Man. 34 years old. Zodiac sign: Capricorn.

    Looking for: woman. In age: 31-41

    9 things I hate about everyone 1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.. I know where my watch is pal, where the **** is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is? 2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually. 3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too," Damn right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it? 4. When people say "It's always the last place you look," Of course it is. Why the **** would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their ass! 5. When people say while watching a film, "did you see that?" No loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the ****ing floor. 6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"... 7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it. 8. When people say "life is short," What the ****?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever ****ing does!! What can you do that's longer? 9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?here is a fun fact, the vibrator was first used in the ***'s for medicinal reasons to treat female hysteria. (it obviously only added to the problem) lets switch roles. i wouldn't mind playing the female for once. its about time someone gets me drunk, maybe smokes a little, and who knows.... someone might be getting lucky.

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