SIMILAR PEOPLE
on 377 reviews
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OfeliaOnline
Woman. 35 years old. Zodiac sign: Virgo.
Looking for: man. In age: 32-42
• I’m a superhero. Special power: I go invisible in large crowds and hallways. (My daughter claims it’s because I’m short. Wtf does she know, she’s 16.)• I don’t have a single tattoo. I’m not opposed, I just wish they were animated.• I love tattoos! Head to toe.• I am not politically correct.• I hear “MOMMMM... YOU CAN’T SAY THAT!” every single day. I usually respond “ohhhh... F*ck!”. If there’s such thing as social Tourette’s, I might have it.• Two piercings. One there ? and one there ?• If you’re 6ft or taller, I will laugh at you if you’re scared of heights.• I hate pubic hair. On the body is gross. On toilet seats, bathtubs, floors, pillows, it’s freaken disgusting!• I hate crowds... But if there’s live music and a couple beers, I’M IN! I absolutely love live music.• I don’t recycle. I’m not opposed to it, I just don’t do it.• I’m hella excited about the zombie apocalypse. Team Zombie!• I do have a checklist for what I definitely don’t want in my life (see below). Otherwise, you’re golden.• I’m not looking for a dad for my daughter, and I don’t want your babies. I had one, I got fixed, end of. Please note: I don’t have the ex parent baggage or the freak child who makes life miserable for anyone I date. She’s respectful, welcoming and independent.• I’ve never had a hamburger. Yes I’m vegetarian. No it’s not about the animals. I’d eat them bloody, they just make me sick.• I don’t want to go hunting or fishing with you. Wait! If it’s hunting Sasquatch.... HELLS YEAH! F*CK YEAH!. Driving to the mountains to put a pole and some string in some water... no. Never.• I’ve never drank a cup of coffee. I like my tea. I don’t care what you eat or drink.• I don’t cook.• People smell. Especially Elevator People. Bus People are the worst.• My English is crap. I wish it was because it’s my second language. It’s not, I don’t know any other languages.• There’s a reason I don’t have loads of photos. I’m shy, and fatter then average (not beached whale fat, jeeze). If we meet, don’t be heartbroken when you don’t see a model. Just being honest.• Been told I smile too much. Dimples are deceiving, like now actually. They make you look like you’re smiling, even in those “oh f*ck, what have I gotten myself into” moments.• I’m not controlling or one of those women that freaks out about you going out with friends. Enjoy life, and your friends.• Not only do I drive, but I drive a stick. Bus People smell awful, remember? I do drive an orange jeep. Yes, I know it looks like a midget bus, it makes me smile.• I’m socially awkward so I need someone who isn’t, because well… it’s just easier that way. • Oh, and I swear.It might sting a little... Or a lot.• You must not live in mommy’s or daddy’s home/garage/basement/car/tent because it’s free. And FFS please don’t call them mommy or daddy!• You must know how to do your laundry and know how to put a sheet on the bed.• Hopefully you drive, and I don’t care what you drive. I won’t be impressed if your car is straight off the set of the fast and the furious. Equally, I won’t be impressed that you ride your bicycle to work because it’s “good for the environment”.• No criminals please.. wait, I guess it depends on the crime and situation. We’ll talk.• No virgins, or nearly virgins. I don’t want you if you’ve only had one or two girlfriends… and that was around high school…. but she really loved you…. because she talked to you that once, so you stalked her… but that doesn’t count because you were in the area anyway o.O• If you look like you belong on a rapist/child molester warning poster, I’m not interested.• You must not see “shadow people” or have been abducted by aliens.• Bald men are sexy, balding men look like they’re on the poster I mentioned earlier.• Please, if you’re socially awkward, don’t message me. It’s hard enough already.
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ChynaOnline
Woman. 35 years old. Zodiac sign: Taurus.
Looking for: man. In age: 32-42
Hi, and congratulations on finding my profile!First, let me tell you what I'd like ...I'd like to meet a normal guy, if that even exists. A fit, healthy, and happy SWM in his 30's or early 40's, who lives in or near the Western suburbs, who's kind and considerate, makes me laugh, keeps me on my toes, is simple and laid-back without a big chip on his shoulder, and has his head screwed on right. Bonus points if you're good with your hands, whether that's by giving a good massage or by fixing something I've broken :) FYI -- I'm really not interested in anyone who's here for "casual dating/no commitment".And a little about me ...I'm witty and sarcastic, but I can take it just as much as I can give it, I'm pretty smart, too -- like I know the difference between a flat--head screwdriver, and I know a lot of the answers when I watch Cash Cab. I'm also a great cook, and while I try to eat healthy a majority of the time, I'm also good to go when it's time for pizza and wings. I live a pretty active lifestyle; I run at least a dozen races a year, lift, do yoga, and bike. Fitness is not only my passion but also my profession, and I absolutely love what I do. My job can be a bit demanding, but it's also my favorite thing about my my life. I pay my bills on time, make a good living, love where I am in life, live on my own, and come completely baggage-free, and so should you. I want a fun, happy, comfy relationship void of nonsense , drama, and games. If you're ready for something with substance, *** :) Let's meet up for a cup of coffee and see if we click -- and if we're a match, we go from there ...
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RylanOnline
Woman. 35 years old. Zodiac sign: Cancer.
Looking for: man. In age: 32-42
I would love to meet someone who has a good since of humor, and likes to have fun. Don't want a player and I don't want someone who plays games. I like just about all kinds of music...only if I can understand the words..Lol. I like to dance and hang out with the girls sometimes..and have a good time. You would have to meet me to get to know me. I'm just me :) dinner and a movie