SIMILAR PEOPLE
on 377 reviews
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ElijahOffline
Man. 25 years old. Zodiac sign: Cancer.
Looking for: woman. In age: 18-28
Hi! My name is Elijah. I am never married other caucasian man without kids from Stevensville, Maryland, United States. Now I'm looking for new relationships. I want to meet a woman, love of my life.
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TruemanOnline
Man. 49 years old. Zodiac sign: Virgo.
Looking for: woman. In age: 46-56
28 yrs as a lighting engineer on shows, concerts and conferences. Now moving into new ventures....what a stupid move at my age....!!!Right, I better add this, to stop others asking time after time. : I had to set up this "GENUINE" profile on here, because some idiot had used my pics from FaceParty, and set up a fake profile (Apparently I had become a northern pub landlord over night) This profile you are reading, has been on here for over 6yrs (In various forms) and in that time, I have chosen to not meet a single person.The site is filled with fake people, using fake pics etc. And I am not desperate to waste time chasing fake people. Should a genuine female pop along, and we are after the same thing, then maybe things will change. I do not want to meet for a one off coffee simply for the sake of meeting up. What's the point in that? I am within 15 feet of a kettle and don't drink coffee anyhow.Kisser, seeks Kissee for undercover work. Full time applicants only, no part time work available!!!if you get the time Google "; and enjoy some of my work. Chocolate Ice cream should raise a smile. Unlike "Snow White"....I don't do Grumpy or Dopey! Oh, I need to point out, I can read...so feel free to leave a message if you pop by. I like long walks.....especially when they are taken by people who annoy me . Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties. He bragged that he had told his wife she needed to do all the dishes and housework. He said that it took a couple days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away. He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes were done, and he had a huge dinner on the table. He boasted that he told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, laundry and ironing twice a week, lawns mowed, windows cleaned and hot meals on the table for every meal.He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, just enough to fix himself a bite to eat, load the dishwasher, and call a handyman.Don't be too quick to judge. Please, don't think that when I make a comment, or ask a question, that its a marriage proposal in disguise!!!!I am NOT scary. You just need to be able to read and understand the profile in the way it was intended......honest!!!A lady walks into Tiffany's. She browses around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it.Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right now.As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her.Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?'Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of her little 'accident', she asks, 'Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?'He answers, 'Madam, if you *** just looking at it, you're going to sh1t yourself when I tell you the price.Everyone has the right to be stupid, some just abuse the privilege!!Please, don't call me "Babes" or "Hun"I've been offered 8 legs of Venison for £300.....is that 2 deer?I called Tibet last week, to speak with a BIG religious personality.!! Turns out, I'd rung Dial a llama!!!Most of this profile is "Tongue in cheek humour" Please don't think I am bitter, or the like, as "Some" people seem to be reading this the wrong way.I don't do lies or liars. I will normally suss them out faster than you could detect a fart in a space suit! If I want anyone to mess with my head, I'll consult a "Phrenologist"Right, this is what I wont be asking for..... I won't be asking for phone numbers, bra sizes, more pics, or MSN details, fave positions, or addresses.Remember what they say "Beauty is in the eye's of the BEER holder"...lol And to stop people asking....No...I don't drink.I love this line.....seen it on a few profiles: "......My friends say I am attractive".....what else are they going to say? I can't be the only person who's seen an Indian, asleep on the train, with a little red dot on their forehead, and thought "F*ck me....it's on standby";Working girl"The woman says its the best sexual experience she has ever had, and what was the technique known as.Its known as the "Four sprung dwarfs technique" they replied.so, there was a teacher in class, who said to the pupils "We as humans, are the only species on earth who suffer from speech defects, stammers, lisps and so on"A boy at the back of the class leant across and started chatting to the boy sat beside him...."If you have something to say, I'd prefer it if you shared it with the class" shouted the teacher."I was just saying, I don't agree with you miss" the boy replied."Well I'm the teacher, and you're the pupil, I'm right and you're wrong" she said."I still think you are wrong", replied the boy "Yesterday, next doors pit bull jumped over our fence, and our cat went FFFFFFFFFFF FFFFFFFFF FFFFFF and before he could say F*!K IN HELL....the pit bull killed him" 2 women sat in a coffee shop, one says to the other, "What with all this plastic surgery going about, I'm thinking of having a bit of Botox to see what all the fuss is about"Her friend turns and says "Thats funny, I was thinking of having my arsh hole bleached""oooooooo No" her friend replies.."I couldnt picture your Brian with Blonde hair"I met a girl once who had a shell tattooed on her inner thigh, and do you know, if you put your ear to it, you could actually smell the sea!!When God made me, she was showing off. I got my bunsen burner, test tubes, petri dishes, and periodic table....now lets just work on the chemistry! Just go easy on the liquids and gases!Not looking to meet any "Knife throwers.....Or smokers!!!
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WalterOnline
Man. 46 years old. Zodiac sign: Leo.
Looking for: woman. In age: 43-53
dark hair, im 6ft tall... love keeping fit n going to the gym,, enjoy nites out....meeting new people, nites in snuggled up... , enjoy lazing on the beach .mmm,n.. lots to be arranged.......