SIMILAR PEOPLE
on 377 reviews
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TruemanOffline
Man. 49 years old. Zodiac sign: Virgo.
Looking for: woman. In age: 46-56
28 yrs as a lighting engineer on shows, concerts and conferences. Now moving into new ventures....what a stupid move at my age....!!!Right, I better add this, to stop others asking time after time. : I had to set up this "GENUINE" profile on here, because some idiot had used my pics from FaceParty, and set up a fake profile (Apparently I had become a northern pub landlord over night) This profile you are reading, has been on here for over 6yrs (In various forms) and in that time, I have chosen to not meet a single person.The site is filled with fake people, using fake pics etc. And I am not desperate to waste time chasing fake people. Should a genuine female pop along, and we are after the same thing, then maybe things will change. I do not want to meet for a one off coffee simply for the sake of meeting up. What's the point in that? I am within 15 feet of a kettle and don't drink coffee anyhow.Kisser, seeks Kissee for undercover work. Full time applicants only, no part time work available!!!if you get the time Google "; and enjoy some of my work. Chocolate Ice cream should raise a smile. Unlike "Snow White"....I don't do Grumpy or Dopey! Oh, I need to point out, I can read...so feel free to leave a message if you pop by. I like long walks.....especially when they are taken by people who annoy me . Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties. He bragged that he had told his wife she needed to do all the dishes and housework. He said that it took a couple days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away. He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes were done, and he had a huge dinner on the table. He boasted that he told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, laundry and ironing twice a week, lawns mowed, windows cleaned and hot meals on the table for every meal.He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, just enough to fix himself a bite to eat, load the dishwasher, and call a handyman.Don't be too quick to judge. Please, don't think that when I make a comment, or ask a question, that its a marriage proposal in disguise!!!!I am NOT scary. You just need to be able to read and understand the profile in the way it was intended......honest!!!A lady walks into Tiffany's. She browses around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it.Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right now.As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her.Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?'Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of her little 'accident', she asks, 'Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?'He answers, 'Madam, if you *** just looking at it, you're going to sh1t yourself when I tell you the price.Everyone has the right to be stupid, some just abuse the privilege!!Please, don't call me "Babes" or "Hun"I've been offered 8 legs of Venison for £300.....is that 2 deer?I called Tibet last week, to speak with a BIG religious personality.!! Turns out, I'd rung Dial a llama!!!Most of this profile is "Tongue in cheek humour" Please don't think I am bitter, or the like, as "Some" people seem to be reading this the wrong way.I don't do lies or liars. I will normally suss them out faster than you could detect a fart in a space suit! If I want anyone to mess with my head, I'll consult a "Phrenologist"Right, this is what I wont be asking for..... I won't be asking for phone numbers, bra sizes, more pics, or MSN details, fave positions, or addresses.Remember what they say "Beauty is in the eye's of the BEER holder"...lol And to stop people asking....No...I don't drink.I love this line.....seen it on a few profiles: "......My friends say I am attractive".....what else are they going to say? I can't be the only person who's seen an Indian, asleep on the train, with a little red dot on their forehead, and thought "F*ck me....it's on standby";Working girl"The woman says its the best sexual experience she has ever had, and what was the technique known as.Its known as the "Four sprung dwarfs technique" they replied.so, there was a teacher in class, who said to the pupils "We as humans, are the only species on earth who suffer from speech defects, stammers, lisps and so on"A boy at the back of the class leant across and started chatting to the boy sat beside him...."If you have something to say, I'd prefer it if you shared it with the class" shouted the teacher."I was just saying, I don't agree with you miss" the boy replied."Well I'm the teacher, and you're the pupil, I'm right and you're wrong" she said."I still think you are wrong", replied the boy "Yesterday, next doors pit bull jumped over our fence, and our cat went FFFFFFFFFFF FFFFFFFFF FFFFFF and before he could say F*!K IN HELL....the pit bull killed him" 2 women sat in a coffee shop, one says to the other, "What with all this plastic surgery going about, I'm thinking of having a bit of Botox to see what all the fuss is about"Her friend turns and says "Thats funny, I was thinking of having my arsh hole bleached""oooooooo No" her friend replies.."I couldnt picture your Brian with Blonde hair"I met a girl once who had a shell tattooed on her inner thigh, and do you know, if you put your ear to it, you could actually smell the sea!!When God made me, she was showing off. I got my bunsen burner, test tubes, petri dishes, and periodic table....now lets just work on the chemistry! Just go easy on the liquids and gases!Not looking to meet any "Knife throwers.....Or smokers!!!
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DeyeOffline
Man. 46 years old. Zodiac sign: Virgo.
Looking for: woman. In age: 43-53
I like to work and enjoy helping others stay positive. I’m a unique individual because I’m not your average one. I\'m looking for a relationship with someone sweet & honest who respects their partner.
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HumOffline
Man. 46 years old. Zodiac sign: Cancer.
Looking for: woman. In age: 43-53
Before we get cracking, if you're carrying your last relationship around your neck, and can't let go, don't read any further. Just a big old teddy bear, ex-army ***years), combat search and rescue, paramedic, worked offshore on the rigs and dive-boats, and the middle/far east, and travelled round the world a couple of times, both work and play. Have dived and sky- Have climbed mountains from the Brecon's to Afghanistan and beyond. Have run medical clinics from my backpack in some of the most remote parts of the world in the most extreme of conditions. Spent a long time fighting for my country, now I just want to enjoy it. There's so much to see on our doorstep, but I still enjoy the odd drive round Europe. I've lived in the desert with the Bedouin, and drank cobra blood with tribesmen in Cambodia. I've experienced many varied cultures all over the world, and still welcome the chance to try more.I'm no little fella, 6ft with a 56" chest, a few tattoos (hidden by a t-). I'm hard working, moralistic, and fiercely loyal. If that doesn't float your boat, stop reading now. Semi retired now, still running a commercial flooring company, and consult/train on firearms and explosives for the police (some old habits won't go away), I also coach Krav Maga and Systema. Widowed nearly 8 years ago, I threw myself into work, and took retirement 5 years ago (that lasted all of six months before that got old!). I've been single since then. I've run a livery yard in the past, so I know one end of a ned from the other, and been a step-dad for years in the past, so I'm fairly kid friendly. I'm a little battered and beaten around the edges, older and slower than I used to be, but service can do that. I volunteer at least once a week with Help 4 Heroes, I like being in position now where I can give back, and God knows I've been where they've been, and trod the same dirt.Music: Foos, QOST, ACDC, RHCPs, Audioslave, Deep Vally, Death in Vegas, Elbow, Pink Floyd, Weller, KoL, Nine Inch Nails, Nickelback, Seasick Steve., Boardwalk Empire, Strike Back.I'm old fashioned, you know, flowers on a Friday, take your coat, pull out your chair, open the doors, put my coat around you when you're cold, all the stuff that people forget. I'm old school really. I'm looking for that last harbour, my last first kiss. I love a good debate, but don't want you thinking it's an argument. I want to be in a relationship, it has to be the right one, at this age I know what I don't want, I miss everything that a relationship brings. Festivals, open air concerts, spontaneous road trips. do it all! Now, its not blind date, if I can put a photo up, so can you. I'm not 13 so I don't do text speak, so don't "lol" at me.Right, it seems I have to add this: Just because meetville shows me online, it doesn't mean I am. The phone app keeps showing me on here when I'm not, so It doesn't mean I'm ***, but if I'm chatting/talking to you, then its only you, I can't multitask like you girls! Thanks for the abuse, it just makes for easier choices.Take chances, take a lot of them. Because honestly, no matter where you end up and with whom, it always ends up just the way it should be. Your mistakes make you who you are. You learn and grow with each choice you make. Everything is worth it. Say how you feel always. Be you, and be okay with it.You should never under-estimate the predictability of stupidity! anywhere, so long as you're comfortable with it...seriously anywhere you want. I'm as comfy in a fancy restaurant as I am cooking up in my camper van with the hound sniffing around!