Carla, 60
Online
About Me
Nice to meet you, virtually speaking.Honesty & openness are key. Why complicate things? I have a wicked sense of humour & don't stress easily. I view every day as an adventure waiting to happen. I chose technology over acting as a career because I dislike "drama". I travel light - don't hold a torch, bear a grudge or carry any baggage.Not a great cook (my smoke alarm doubles as an oven timer), but I'll happily clean up. I can change a light bulb, do laundry & balance a cheque book. I'm sincere, confident, sane, healthy, intelligent, passionate, affectionate, articulate, tolerant, sensual, responsible, nonjudgemental, independent & imperfect. I'm youthful, spontaneous & energetic. I'm also open-minded, but not to the point that my brain falls out. I'm not a princess & don't expect to be treated like one. You don't have to be Prince Charming. Just charming is more than enough.I won't try to change you. Hopefully, you're capable of dressing yourself. Don't want to own you, either. That's just wrong...and illegal. I'm not controlling. The remote's all yours. I like things organized, but I'm not a clean freak. I'm ok if you leave the toilet seat up. I like trying new things. I have limits, no boundaries. I have many goals, few inhibitions & no regrets. I'm not against the use of profanity, but I AM offended by gratuitous ***'m low-maintenance, non-possessive and know when to be serious. I don't whine, nag or complain. I'm not desperate. I won't ask you to lend me money or buy me feminine hygiene products. I will, however, want you to be my friend, my lover, my partner. I promise monogamy, respect & moral support, and I never make a promise I can't keep. I can be very naughty AND very nice, but if you're just looking for something "on the side", try salad or fries.I'm not shy, but prefer small, casual get-togethers to large, formal parties. I like foreplay, not four-play. I can skate, dance, bike, hike, canoe, row a boat & swim, but with limited expertise. I'd rather walk than run. I play guitar. I'm afraid of bees & balloons. Not comfortable around guns, either. Not afraid of intimacy, elevators or darkness. Being alone with you in a blackout between the 8th & 9th floors could be fun.Don't like liars, cheaters, violence, the circus, the zoo, liver or olives. Never been to Taco Bell. FAQs:1. Any allergies?Yes. BS.2. Why is my profile so long?Hope to weed out guys who can't go the distance.3. Would I enjoy a threesome?I'm a Gemini. There'll always be 3 of us. If you're a Gemini too, we'll need a bigger bed.4. Naked pics?No. Want nude photos? Buy a magazine.5. Does size matter?Horse or hamster..irrelevant. Big heart..essential. 6. What am I looking for?Love. Passion. My car keys.7. Am I financially secure?Don't need your support, but hope you'll stand behind me. 8. Like porn?No, but love those royalty cheques.9. Do I own a Vette?Not exactly. I stole one.10. Do I swing?If it's my turn at bat.11. Any toys?Had a yoyo. We split up. Now I have Pedro the pool boy.12. Have I ever been intimate with a woman?No. You?13. Do I cam?No. Want a video? Rent one.14. Favourite position?Wide Receiver.15. Least favourite position?Between a rock & a hard place.16. My fantasies?World peace. Comfortable thongs.17. Like motorcycles?Sure. Any excuse to wear leather.18. My type?O. Need a kidney? Wrong site.19. Profile pic current?No. It's age enhanced. That'll be me at 92.20. Age important?No. Unless you don't drink & drive because you're legally too young to do either. 21. Kinkiest thing I've ever done?Ask Ripley. Even HE couldn't believe it.22. Like a man in uniform?Yes! Except those worn by inmates. 23. Friend with Benefits?Sure. I have medical, dental & long-term disability. You?24. University degree important?No, if you can count to 21 without taking off your pants, know that harass is only 1 word, know that Bangor is a place, not an activity & have an IQ higher than your shoe size.25. Into BDSM?No, but I like ABBA.26. How far will I go on a 1st date?Depends who's driving.27. What makes me cry?Funerals, raw onions & people who think manual labour is a Mexican.28. Do I like lacy lingerie?Not on you.29. Do I chat?No. Call Quest.30. Will I date an ex-con?Ex? Yes. Convicts on an "unscheduled" release? No. Aiding & abetting is not my idea of fun.31. Do I like Quickies?No. Mac's.32. Long distance relationship?No. Don't care if you live in a barn or a tent. Live near Ottawa!33. Mother tongue?English, but mom's taken. Je parle un peu français.34. Phone sex?No. Try Solo, service provider for Palm handhelds.35. Do I like surprises?Small gifts? Yes! Seeing your face on America's Most Wanted? Not so much.36. Safe sex?Yes. Prefer bareback? Buy a horse.37. Talk on the phone?Yes. Use a shoe phone, a cell or a pay phone. If you say you'll call, CALL!38. Do I date married men?No, but my ex's girlfriend does. Want her number?39. More pics?Yes, but Vogue owns the rights.40. Will I date a man with kids?Children? Yes! Goats? No.41. Do I mind if you smoke?We all have vices. Some smoke. Some like reality TV. I accept both.42. Am I a serial dater?No, but I HAVE dated a few flakes.43. Would I like to hook-up?Sure, if we're going skydiving or bra shopping.44. Am I happy?Yes. Not Grumpy, Bashful or Dopey.45. Do I like heels?I'll wear 'em, not date 'em.46. Do I have a retirement plan?Yes. Death.47. Am I generous?Very. I donate regularly to the CRA.48. Do I wear mini skirts?Only on dates with Justin Bieber.49. Glass half full?Yes, unless it contains Dom Pérignon. Then it's empty.50. Religious?No, unless the Sens make the playoffs. Then, I pray.51. My position on casual sex?Top. Bottom. I'm flexible.52. 1-night stand?No thanks. I like to take things lying down.53. Am I fit?For?54. Do I take the road less travelled?Usually. I don't have a GPS.55. Am I bisexual?No. If it ain't free, I ain't buying.56. Am I fat?As fat as you are stupid.57. Any tattoos?No, but great idea for a 2nd date!Anything, really...I'm easy to get along with and not hard to please. Perhaps something casual, somewhere conducive to conversation. By the way:- If I send you a message, and you don't have the common decency, manners or courtesy to offer even a simple reply - no worries. You are most likely not the kind of person I'd want to meet and I apologize for the intrusion. Seems to me that it costs nothing to be polite. Sadly, there are those apparently who still can't afford it. (please know that "thanks, but no thanks" is a perfectly acceptable response - no explanation or restraining order required). - If we exchange a few e-mails and I say that I am interested in meeting you, then I am sincerely interested in meeting you! If you agree and then go silent, I won't run after you. This is a dating site, not a marathon. If what you say is not at all in sync with what you do, best to find that out sooner than later, so thanks for the heads up. I have no desire to "figure you out". I am a computer person, not a psychiatrist, behaviourist or proctologist.Helpful hints:Things to bring on a first meeting:1. a smile2. a sense of humour3. an open mind4. a happy disposition5. a willingness to communicate6. a clear conscience7. a positive attitude8. your honesty9. your integrity 10. a fridge magnet...(I collect them)Things NOT to bring on a first meeting:1. a checklist2. an application form (I have a job, thanks!)3. a stopwatch4. expectations5. duct tape6. your wife/girlfriend/parole officer7. concealed weapons8. contraband9. your financial statement10. assumptionsOptional items:1. your passport2. a travel brochure3. a toothbrushLook forward to meeting you. Hope I made you smile...WARNING: Any *** individuals using this site or any of its associated sites for commercial purposes, studies, projects or personal/corporate benefit-you DO NOT have permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current and future. If you have or do, it will be considered a violation of my privacy and/or my intellectual property and will be subject to legal ramifications.
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