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Olga, 42

Online

About Me

B AFRAID!! B VERIIIII AFRAID!! if ye dont like any of wot ye read or ye think ive waffled too much then YE DONT HAV TE TALK TO MEE DO YA??READ N WEEP!! looking for a man to wine me dine me n 96 me????? naa the 1st 2 sound good but therz sommit wrong wiff no3! im wanting to find ma soulm8 or the next best thing a man wiff a heart who will love me forever like i would love him! although im a bit on the large side i consider maself to b extremeli sexi wiff 1 helova personality!! (if youre xpecting a kate moss then prepare yourself 4 a fern brittain or an eileen grimshaw!! any guy out ther a "chubbi chaser"??) im fairly intelligent n would like to be treated az such but dont xpect me to kno the square root of ***coz u aint got a chocol8 watchz chance o tellin tha time in hell. dont wana sound desperate but PLEEEEEEEZE PIK ME!!!!!x thank uPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!xxwant to let u out ther all kno that thiz profile iz a WORK O ART!! so pleaze take ur time to go over every inch of it wiff a fine tooth comb!! well here goez........wot id like?? well realli a man in the first *** b helpful!! one that cud cook wud b benefitial!! and one that can clean wud b a bloodi miracle!! naw seriouzli tho... i just want a guy to call my own!!(uze guyz out ther think coz im looking for long term and becauze i admit to getting a bit full on too quikk, that i would also like to end up getting married, moving in and having kidz, well thiz aint realli the case az i do like a bit of space and time to myself!! i realli just want sum1 that i can call my own!! want to spend quality time with sum1 and that dont just mean in the bedroom having my daily doze o "RUMPEE PUMPEE" oohhhhher!!!! i alzo want to b able to go out and have a laff wiff a guy and even enjoy a hobby or two together!! like golfing?? yeech!! no thanx!! but anyone willing to try a bit o snowboarding then i mite give it a bash!!)oh and if u dont want mee to end up getting too seriouz too quikk then dont fill ma hedd wiff stuff like saying u love mee and u want to b with mee just pleaze do NOT lie to mee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cannot stand fekn liarz!! how many other women haz he told "ur the bezt"??(ive heard it all b4 the 6mnthz to live with cancer or the 24 hrz to live with an incurable blood dizorder soooooooooo i beg ye pleaze dont bull shat mee ok??coz it fekn hurtzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!) and try not to INSULT MY INTELLIGENCE WIFF SOME O THA FEKN TOSH THAT CURMZ OOT YER GUBZ!!! cuz i kno!! (WOMENZ INTUITION GOEZ A LONG WAYYYYYYYY!!) IF U CANT HAKK THA PACE THEN "EAT MEEE"!!!!!!! ohhhhhhh and if u r married then i dont mind talking to u but onli if u can hold a conversation that duz not involve sex!! i want a man for mee cuz i b a greedy cow!! ("LADY O THA MEADOW" TO U GUYZ!!)xxAZ I SAY........... (coz no-one else will n not bein bighedded or owt!! lol)........... itl b an EXTREMELI lukki bloke that endz up wiff mee guyz who hav size izzuez pleaze read paragraph below!!i am NOT a sz***or 14 i am now a sz20 mee thinx (depending on which shop im in) but hey az ive kinda sed, wotwith the help o a diet or a bit of imagination or even a paper bag i cud b kate fekn mozz!! anyway therz more bounce to the ounce with mee!! ill b yer own personal bounci caztle!! the thing about thiz iz uz fat galz can diet wot u ugli blokez gunna do?? and..........speaking o size issuez.........."INNI WEENY TEENI WEENY SHRIVVELED LITL SHORT SHORT MAN!! DO U NEED A TWEEZERZ TO PUT THAT LITTLE THING AWAY"?? Fekn think about it boyz!!!!!i onli bite on a full moon!! unlezz provoked that iz!! so just curm say hi, if yer nae chikken like!!lurvez ya all!! enjoy ur hunt!!xxUPD8..........at the mo im of the oppinion that all u blokez shud b shot but castr8d first!!IM OFT TE BILE MA HEED!!lurve mee for being mee or dont lurve mee at all!!xxlooking for a NEW man to curm and sweep mee off my feet!! (ye dont hav te b a janitor tho!!) GAWD IM CRAKKIN UP!!!!!! I REALLI THINK AM GUNNA HIV TE GET OOT O HERE!! B4 THEY CART MEE OFF IN THEIR WEE WHITE VAN WIFF THE BLAKKT OOT WINDAEZ!! jizt dont realli wanna go and looze all ma professional written work!! ocht well we'l w8 n c!!xxTHINK I SHALL DELETE SUM OF UZE VERY SOON *** WHO NEVER TALK WUD B A GOOD FEKN START!! GAWD U MEN DRIVE MEE NUTZ!! dont blame tha women on here who play gamez!! totalli understand y!!!!!!!OCHT juzt decided i been sooooooooo wasting my time looking for a guy to love mee that im jizt gunna go out ther and hav sum fun!! still dont mean a SHAG!! c ye around boyz!!xxWELL i muzt say i didna think i wud leave the site juzt quite az quikk!! ive went and deleted my other profile by accident and now they wont let mee do anuther ***so i fekn cannae write meeself anuther testimonial!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DOH!!!!!!!!!!!!IF ANYONE HAZ ANY PROBLEMZ WITH THIZ PROFILE THEN DONT FEKN BOTHER READING IT!! I NEVER AZKT U TO!!!!!!!4GET THIZ SHAT!! SERIOUZLI THINK IM GUNNA TOP MASEL SOON AND ITZ COZ OF ALL U MALE BULLSHATTERZ OUT THER!!(u kno who u r!!) so thanx u for ur help in thiz matter!!!!!!!!!!!! U R ALL A BUNCH OF SELF CENTRD MALE TWATZ AND U REALLI ALL SHUD B SHOT!!XX and for all thoze who say they r ma friend but never bother to talk then get a grip i shal not bother with u either!!!!!!!!!xxTHINK I NEED TO GO REPORT MASEL FOR HAVIN ANGER MANAGEMENT IZZUEZ!! (b4 some1 else duz that iz!!)last picture waz dedicated to ma baby!! tyzon!! who had to b put down at 2.50pm yezterday ***i will love u and ma wee rabiez forver!! c ye in heaven!! xxy hav they removed tha picz of my 2 babiez?? az in tyzon and rabiez!! they wer doing no harm and i think u guyz hav seen enuff of MY fizzogg so i didnt see any harm in picz of ma petz!!!!!!!TIME TO REINVENT MASELF!!!!!!!!!! stay tooned!!xxNEEDING A PAIR O BONDAGE TROOZERZ!! any1 kno wer i can get a pair??xxthink meez enjoying ma single life at the mo so im putting all ont hold!! unlezz ma soulm8 curmz rappin at ma door that iz!!if yer fae glasgow then im happi to talk to ye but dont think ill date ye az all ive ever had iz bad experiencez wiff glaswegianz!! sorri!!RITE FOR THE MO FORGET THE ABOVE!! SPENDING TIME ON MY OWN ......ALL BY MYSELF!! BEZT WAY TO B I THINK!! jizt looking 4 talk/email n maybe friendz, az of anything else yez are a sh*tat it!! SO FORGET IT!! dont even think yez kno how to treat a woman!!according to some.........(including myself) AM WAYYYYYYY 2 FEKKT UP TO HAV A R/SHIPtotalli confess to being a blonde in a brunettez body!!if mr keith stewart (tossbag) givez u a blakk n white striped tiger teddi then it waz bought n paid for by mee and so iz the hair str8nerz!! the rezt of my stuff he can keep!! why he hav my str8nerz wen he got no hairanything wiff lotza conversation getting to know each other (mind u it cud b mee doin all the talking.)wud love all the romantic stuff like the hand holding etc but that only happenz in tha moviez mee thinx!! oh and also id like someone to want mee 4 mee and not jist a bit o slap n tikkle (that b nice az well like). all my lurve nicE xxOH AND TO "CALUMFORBES"..... thanx 4 the input that i fekk with mens headz wen u havent even spoke to mee then convenientli delete yer profile!! i will hold wot u sed in high regard!!!! andy***thinx i write drivvel n aw!! well y the bleep wud u wint te read it?? jog on!!oh and for the people on here who tell me to type in english....... i am NOT english!! and i dont type in text speak i type in the way of phonics (n if ye dont kno wot that iz then ye canna b so fekkin brainy az ye pretend te b!! GO LOOK IT UP!!)NOT LOOKING FOR ANYTHING OR ANYBUDDI!!!!!!!! so y am i here i hear u ask?? for the abuse and nasti remarx!! Y ELSE??xxSEX SEX SEX!! u men hav soooo much to learn!!OH N COULD SOME1 FAE GLASGOW PLEAZE EXPLAIN TO MEE WOT A "MIDDEN" IZ DOWN THERE?? COZ IM SURE ITS THE SAME MEANING AZ IT IZ UP HERE!!!!!! but i could eazily b wrong!! (although i do NOT think so!!!!!!!!)

PERSONAL INFORMATION

  • Looking for

    man

  • Relationship

    Divorced

  • Have kids

    Yes, but they don't live with me

  • Wants kids

    Yes

  • Ethnicity

    Caucasian

  • Faith

    Atheist

  • Body type

    Curvy

  • Height

    5'6"

  • Eye color

    Green

  • Smoke

    No

  • Drink

    No

SIMILAR PEOPLE

Great
stars 4.1 out of 5 based Rated 4.1 / 5 Based  on  377 reviews
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    Looking for: man. In age: 18-30

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  • Dianna

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    Woman. 45 years old. Zodiac sign: Cancer.

    Looking for: man. In age: 35-55

    I am a down to earth woman looking for a sweet and fun guy to date.. hang out with.. get to know.. and see where things go.. No drama queen here.. I am pretty much what you see is what you get.. I don't play games.. If you want to know something.. just ask..I am close to my family and have amazing friends. I would like the man i am with to value family and great friends...I love to laugh and have a good time..Serious when need to be, treat the people i care about very well, am honest and a great listener..I like country music,horseback riding,rodeos, Vegas trips, small cool little bars or pubs, camping, boating, watching hockey ( Kings Fan) and European football ( Chelsea )Don't watch much tv.. when i do it's usually shows like Burn Notice, Dexter, The First 48, CSI, The Closer,Criminal Minds, dramas or Discovery shows....Bike rides at the beach.. walking on the beach at sunset..I am a romantic.. love flowers for no reason..bubble baths..candles. I'm the type of girl you can take home to meet the family, hang out with your friends, or just hang out together.. Just the two of us.. I am not looking for " hook-ups " or "friends with benefits".. I don't date married men.. I like men that are honest and sweet, fun loving, can make me laugh..and don't make me cry.. Want to share their hopes and dreams with me.. I am looking for someone who likes to go out and have some fun... Out for drinks, dancing, concerts, camping, vegas weekends, etc.. Staying home is good sometimes, but not alllll the time... I love to travel, so if you have a passport and want to see the world.. More points for you... LOL..... I want someone who works just as hard as I do,but makes the time for family and friends... No free loaders!!!! I only date men that are Caucasian between the ages of 34 and 48. So feel free to message me and let's see what happens..

  • Carla

    Online

    Woman. 60 years old. Zodiac sign: Leo.

    Looking for: man. In age: 50-70

    Nice to meet you, virtually speaking.Honesty & openness are key. Why complicate things? I have a wicked sense of humour & don't stress easily. I view every day as an adventure waiting to happen. I chose technology over acting as a career because I dislike "drama". I travel light - don't hold a torch, bear a grudge or carry any baggage.Not a great cook (my smoke alarm doubles as an oven timer), but I'll happily clean up. I can change a light bulb, do laundry & balance a cheque book. I'm sincere, confident, sane, healthy, intelligent, passionate, affectionate, articulate, tolerant, sensual, responsible, nonjudgemental, independent & imperfect. I'm youthful, spontaneous & energetic. I'm also open-minded, but not to the point that my brain falls out. I'm not a princess & don't expect to be treated like one. You don't have to be Prince Charming. Just charming is more than enough.I won't try to change you. Hopefully, you're capable of dressing yourself. Don't want to own you, either. That's just wrong...and illegal. I'm not controlling. The remote's all yours. I like things organized, but I'm not a clean freak. I'm ok if you leave the toilet seat up. I like trying new things. I have limits, no boundaries. I have many goals, few inhibitions & no regrets. I'm not against the use of profanity, but I AM offended by gratuitous ***'m low-maintenance, non-possessive and know when to be serious. I don't whine, nag or complain. I'm not desperate. I won't ask you to lend me money or buy me feminine hygiene products. I will, however, want you to be my friend, my lover, my partner. I promise monogamy, respect & moral support, and I never make a promise I can't keep. I can be very naughty AND very nice, but if you're just looking for something "on the side", try salad or fries.I'm not shy, but prefer small, casual get-togethers to large, formal parties. I like foreplay, not four-play. I can skate, dance, bike, hike, canoe, row a boat & swim, but with limited expertise. I'd rather walk than run. I play guitar. I'm afraid of bees & balloons. Not comfortable around guns, either. Not afraid of intimacy, elevators or darkness. Being alone with you in a blackout between the 8th & 9th floors could be fun.Don't like liars, cheaters, violence, the circus, the zoo, liver or olives. Never been to Taco Bell. FAQs:1. Any allergies?Yes. BS.2. Why is my profile so long?Hope to weed out guys who can't go the distance.3. Would I enjoy a threesome?I'm a Gemini. There'll always be 3 of us. If you're a Gemini too, we'll need a bigger bed.4. Naked pics?No. Want nude photos? Buy a magazine.5. Does size matter?Horse or hamster..irrelevant. Big heart..essential. 6. What am I looking for?Love. Passion. My car keys.7. Am I financially secure?Don't need your support, but hope you'll stand behind me. 8. Like porn?No, but love those royalty cheques.9. Do I own a Vette?Not exactly. I stole one.10. Do I swing?If it's my turn at bat.11. Any toys?Had a yoyo. We split up. Now I have Pedro the pool boy.12. Have I ever been intimate with a woman?No. You?13. Do I cam?No. Want a video? Rent one.14. Favourite position?Wide Receiver.15. Least favourite position?Between a rock & a hard place.16. My fantasies?World peace. Comfortable thongs.17. Like motorcycles?Sure. Any excuse to wear leather.18. My type?O. Need a kidney? Wrong site.19. Profile pic current?No. It's age enhanced. That'll be me at 92.20. Age important?No. Unless you don't drink & drive because you're legally too young to do either. 21. Kinkiest thing I've ever done?Ask Ripley. Even HE couldn't believe it.22. Like a man in uniform?Yes! Except those worn by inmates. 23. Friend with Benefits?Sure. I have medical, dental & long-term disability. You?24. University degree important?No, if you can count to 21 without taking off your pants, know that harass is only 1 word, know that Bangor is a place, not an activity & have an IQ higher than your shoe size.25. Into BDSM?No, but I like ABBA.26. How far will I go on a 1st date?Depends who's driving.27. What makes me cry?Funerals, raw onions & people who think manual labour is a Mexican.28. Do I like lacy lingerie?Not on you.29. Do I chat?No. Call Quest.30. Will I date an ex-con?Ex? Yes. Convicts on an "unscheduled" release? No. Aiding & abetting is not my idea of fun.31. Do I like Quickies?No. Mac's.32. Long distance relationship?No. Don't care if you live in a barn or a tent. Live near Ottawa!33. Mother tongue?English, but mom's taken. Je parle un peu français.34. Phone sex?No. Try Solo, service provider for Palm handhelds.35. Do I like surprises?Small gifts? Yes! Seeing your face on America's Most Wanted? Not so much.36. Safe sex?Yes. Prefer bareback? Buy a horse.37. Talk on the phone?Yes. Use a shoe phone, a cell or a pay phone. If you say you'll call, CALL!38. Do I date married men?No, but my ex's girlfriend does. Want her number?39. More pics?Yes, but Vogue owns the rights.40. Will I date a man with kids?Children? Yes! Goats? No.41. Do I mind if you smoke?We all have vices. Some smoke. Some like reality TV. I accept both.42. Am I a serial dater?No, but I HAVE dated a few flakes.43. Would I like to hook-up?Sure, if we're going skydiving or bra shopping.44. Am I happy?Yes. Not Grumpy, Bashful or Dopey.45. Do I like heels?I'll wear 'em, not date 'em.46. Do I have a retirement plan?Yes. Death.47. Am I generous?Very. I donate regularly to the CRA.48. Do I wear mini skirts?Only on dates with Justin Bieber.49. Glass half full?Yes, unless it contains Dom Pérignon. Then it's empty.50. Religious?No, unless the Sens make the playoffs. Then, I pray.51. My position on casual sex?Top. Bottom. I'm flexible.52. 1-night stand?No thanks. I like to take things lying down.53. Am I fit?For?54. Do I take the road less travelled?Usually. I don't have a GPS.55. Am I bisexual?No. If it ain't free, I ain't buying.56. Am I fat?As fat as you are stupid.57. Any tattoos?No, but great idea for a 2nd date!Anything, really...I'm easy to get along with and not hard to please. Perhaps something casual, somewhere conducive to conversation. By the way:- If I send you a message, and you don't have the common decency, manners or courtesy to offer even a simple reply - no worries. You are most likely not the kind of person I'd want to meet and I apologize for the intrusion. Seems to me that it costs nothing to be polite. Sadly, there are those apparently who still can't afford it. (please know that "thanks, but no thanks" is a perfectly acceptable response - no explanation or restraining order required). - If we exchange a few e-mails and I say that I am interested in meeting you, then I am sincerely interested in meeting you! If you agree and then go silent, I won't run after you. This is a dating site, not a marathon. If what you say is not at all in sync with what you do, best to find that out sooner than later, so thanks for the heads up. I have no desire to "figure you out". I am a computer person, not a psychiatrist, behaviourist or proctologist.Helpful hints:Things to bring on a first meeting:1. a smile2. a sense of humour3. an open mind4. a happy disposition5. a willingness to communicate6. a clear conscience7. a positive attitude8. your honesty9. your integrity 10. a fridge magnet...(I collect them)Things NOT to bring on a first meeting:1. a checklist2. an application form (I have a job, thanks!)3. a stopwatch4. expectations5. duct tape6. your wife/girlfriend/parole officer7. concealed weapons8. contraband9. your financial statement10. assumptionsOptional items:1. your passport2. a travel brochure3. a toothbrushLook forward to meeting you. Hope I made you smile...WARNING: Any *** individuals using this site or any of its associated sites for commercial purposes, studies, projects or personal/corporate benefit-you DO NOT have permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current and future. If you have or do, it will be considered a violation of my privacy and/or my intellectual property and will be subject to legal ramifications.

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