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Magdalene, 24
United States, Ohio, Russia

Offline, last seen Fri, 06 Feb 2026 09:50:24

About Me

I'll start with this my cousin whom I've very close with is in the military and currently at Fort Leonardwood ... I was down the start of Feb. and had a blast...I'll be down June 9th till the 15th... Seeing how my cousin and his wife recently had a baby they can't hang out and go do as much as I'd like to do so I'd love to find some people to maybe go out with and show me so cool things... I'll pay in cheese curds!)I know this is long you don't have to message me telling me so!YOUR NIGHT/DAY IS ABOUT TO GET A WHOLE LOT BETTER : ) IN...3..2...1....DEAL BREAKERS!A) IF YOUR GANGSTER-ISH OR SAG YOUR PANTS!... I say this not because most men who do this are of a darker color and I have a problem with that... However some of my trailer park/hillbilly family may... and that could get awkward! I DO NOT WANT TO TALK TO MARRIED MEN! Yes I know despite the fact that you're cheating on your wife and you're prolly a lying **stard I'm sure the possibility that you're a nice guy is there... I'm just not willing to take that chance!B) I DO NOT WANT A ONE-NIGHT STAND!... This will eventually lead to unwanted phone calls due to my amazing skills... I'm not trying to break hearts here!C) I DO NOT WANT TO BE IN A THREE SUM OR ANY SUM FOR THAT MATTER!... OR ANY OTHER OBSCENE SEXUAL THING YOU CREEPERS CAN COME UP WITH... That's pretty self-explanatory!D) I AM NOT LOOKING TO REVICE PICTURES OF ANY SEXUAL NATURE!;member" is adorable the truth is they for the most part look like every other baby or again in your case "member" The difference is babies get more cute with time and unfortunately your stuck with your "member". E) NO STALKERS/ CREEPERS... I don't have time for that... And I don't want to end up in a garbage bag in your trunk, because that would prolly make the list of worst first dates ever! F)YOU MUST MAKE ME LAUGH... I'm sorry if this post doesn’t make you laugh and you can't come up with something equally as awesome and witty... this will never work... G) PLEASE BE BETWEEN ***... I'm not sure how to have the conversation with my parents about how this new guy I'm seeing graduated high school the same year they did... and I'd like to try and avoid that awkward moment when we're in public and you're mistaken for my father.Now for those of you who have met those above requirements…ME...I'm sarcastic! I have an awesome family!I work at an optical office... I love my job.I DO NOT use drugs... I am NOT "***friendly" ... would be best if you didn't use drugs either.I grew up with all boys so I learned fast when to swing and when to haul ass.I swear like a sailor.I have a give em’ hell mentality. I have the best stories! I love love love music & love Karaoke... Because basically after about 12 PBR's I'm a rock star!A hole in the wall, a screaming juke box and a Shot of whiskey... I call that solving problems.Big fan of road trips... Nothing better then a back road and blasting some good country music with the windows down!I love tractor pulls… I’m an IH fan : ) I love the outdoors (hunting…fishing…camping) However… I'm not really a big fan swimming... pools= Burning eyes... bad hair... sunburns... little kids pee-pee! Lakes = mouthful’s of dirty water and FISH POOP... dead fish... fish sex... dead bodies!I hate bugs (I kill them with Windex while jumping up and down!)... I also hate snakes so if you wanna be friends you'll have to promise to throw yourself in front of a snake at any given moment and I would prefer in that moment you have a super awesome Australian accent!I love adventures.I have an attraction to... -Anything vintage looking - The 40's and 50's -Men in Uniform... Military...Police...Fire...UPS ... and in that order ha-ha! -A southern accent -Red head's -A man with a guitar -Tattoos! -Cowboy boots -Bow ties -Road Trips - sense of humor I hate cats and small overly hairy dogs... Yeah Yeah Yeah I'm an ***hole! BUT please do not let your cat prance around my lap and legs and laugh and say oooh he likes you that’s soooo cute... no really it's not I am now caked in cat hair and as for your cat I'd like to punt it across your living room... yep that’s how cute I think that is!I do however love dogs (large dogs)I'm a horrible driver... I mean give me a break I am a woman… I know what I'm good at making sandwiches and babies! HAHA THAT WAS A TOTAL JOKE! When I'm not screaming the lyrics to songs... I'm normally making racecar noises.I enjoy Non-adult fun, which may include any of the following combinations... Wal-.. foam sword fights... prank calls... sliding down stairs in laundry baskets...sledding... watching cartoons in pj's... Nerf and or water gun fights... = ] ... AND COKE CAUSE I'M DANGROUS!I love kids or as I call them cupcakes... However I will bring them candy and they will receive the most annoying toys I can find for whatever excuse of a holiday I can come up with!I have weird quarks... I challenge every person I see eating a banana to do it as non-sexual as possible... It's usually makes my day! I can be as crud and off putting as I want cause I'm a woman and it's cute... You may not because you’re a man and it's creepy and un gentlemen like! Double standers suck!..... which part is more weird that I'm a grown adult so loves sleep overs with her best friend or waking up to someone at 3 am whispering "I can show you the world" in your ear?You...You must have...-HAVE A truck... although I'll consider those of you with a car/suv... I say this because at any given moment I may need to be rescued from evil doers! (pedal bikes do not count... I'm sure your huffy has sweet pegs but I'm prone to falling and well you can image).- HAVE A phone... This is for two reasons... I'll need to be able to get ahold of you to alarm you that I’m in need of rescue and also because at 3 am when I've had to much to drink drunk Jessica needs to be able to wow you with her awesome night- YOU MUST BE FUNNY! I need to find someone who can put up with my goofiness! … Laughing until you pee is not a bad thing!- YOU MUST BE ABLE TO QUOTE DUCK DYNASTY… ha-ha come on are you really that surprised?- YOU MU

PERSONAL INFORMATION

  • Looking for

    man

  • Relationship

    Never married

  • Have kids

    No

  • Wants kids

    Someday

  • Ethnicity

    Caucasian

  • Faith

    Spiritual but not religious

  • Body type

    Curvy

  • Height

    5'4"

  • Eye color

    Blue

  • Smoke

    No

  • Drink

    Yes, socially

INTERESTS

Indonesian Japanese Korean Biography
Wink Icon color PERSONAL INFORMATION Fave
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