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Randal, 37
United States, West Virginia, West Hamlin

Offline, last seen Sun, 19 Apr 2026 01:47:13

About Me

None of you is even real. You're all just egirls with your www's and your webcams and those handy ordering pages. Girl, you even got a basket on that thing. I know cause I filled it up! But did I get a single pic of you on your "Meet super horny girls just like me," httpenis trap? Did I get an im after I talked to you and allowed to remote desktop into my computer to upload those pictures? Finally? No! I got an empty wallet, 3 overdrawn visas, and a looping gif of what looks like an Al Queda snuff porn starring a an alien midget that I can't remove for the life of me.Did I see you? No! You were fake. Obviously a cleverly created a Googlebot or something. But with boobs.So all y'all women are just fake Googlebots waiting to E-stroy my manhood and starve my eyeballs of nudity (except for midget nudity, apparently). I also will love you and shower you with joy forever and forever, delivering you an ocean of your best organisms. But let's take it slow.*****************************Ladies, if you think all men are fake, pretend, dolls that are scheming to raid your vaginas before they vanish into the night like ninja, you might want to consider how that comes across to us perusing guys. It reads like this to me, 'I am going to blame anybody but myself for being single. It's the mens' fault and I have simply been taken advantage of and I trusted too soon. I see myself as powerless against this occurring.'So unattractive. Please, think of the perusers.*this message brought to you by the Plenty of Fish Against Fakerists. POFAF, not even once (tm) First is the "Stick Test" where I poke you with one to ensure you aren't a clever illusion and, therefore, hopefully real. Then follow that up with some nice conversation to determine and measure the timbre of your voice and that it isn't too manish. Fool me once shame on me, right?Then, after drinks with my parents, the checking of the identification can begin and we can wind up the night by finally fornicating in my backyard hammock. OMG. So rad.Don't forget, REALITY is the best ITY. Jesus said that, you know, and he was right.

PERSONAL INFORMATION

  • Looking for

    woman

  • Relationship

    Never married

  • Have kids

    No

  • Wants kids

    Yes

  • Ethnicity

    Caucasian

  • Faith

    Other

  • Body type

    Athletic

  • Height

    6'3"

  • Eye color

    Brown

  • Smoke

    Yes, regularly

  • Drink

    Yes, regularly

INTERESTS

Action Fantasy History Western
Wink Icon color PERSONAL INFORMATION Fave
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SIMILAR PEOPLE

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stars 4.1 out of 5 based Rated 4.1 / 5 Based  on  377 reviews
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    Shift

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    Man. 35 years old. Zodiac sign: Gemini.

    Looking for: woman. In age: 18-37

    Hi! My name is Shift. I am never married other caucasian man with kids from West Hamlin, West Virginia, United States. Now I'm looking for new relationships. I want to meet a woman, love of my life.

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  • Anakin from West Hamlin | Man | 39 years old | Sagittarius
    Anakin

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    Man. 39 years old. Zodiac sign: Sagittarius.

    Looking for: woman. In age: 36-46

    I am an active man who enjoys all kinds of outdoor activities, love camping cooking out,watching movies (love comedies) visiting parks, museums,walking around towns that I have never been to before. I really love to travel I enjoy the mountains the most but I can see myself in the Caribbean it seems to be growing on me as my favorite spot especially grand caymen ( love the place when I went there on a cruise wanting to go again) !!! in fact i love alot of sports. I have alot of hobbies especially american history! I love to trying to make people laugh i think there is enough negativity in this world who needs more!! I believe family and friends are important but people sometimes we need more! I do love watching movies cuddling up on the couch!! I am a big hearted man who puts other people first before myself but that's just me. I am looking for a woman who wants to share the same dreams as mine like I would do for her when I find that special girl I treat them like gold and that is no lie! I am very affectionate and the most loyal person you would ever meet I don't like cheaters and liars I had enough of them already once you have my heart I am yours!!!!! So if your ready to travel,sightsee, and ready to have fun lets go!! I am independent person owns my own home pick up truck and I am currently building a pro street Camaro show car!!! IF YOUR READY FOR FUN lets talk I am an honest loyal guy!!! I hate cheaters I'm tired of being hurt!! I am a shy guy at first but once I get to know you I become a life of the party type I enjoy laughing!! I'm looking for a lady who is true and loyal, who knows how to love and shows affection!! Im not worried about the travel distance between us lol!!I don't need the games anymore! I know I'm a big guy but I am currently going to gold's gym and trying to get into the shape I am suppose to be lol!! I also have tattoos! Honestly I just love having a good time no matter what it is, it can be something new that I've never done before I'm up for anything new .. I am open to anything I am new at this dating thing again but depending the weather and time lunch and/or dinner maybe a movie a slow walk to get to know each other. I will warn you I sometimes can act goofy and talk your ear off!! Just tell to be quiet and we can move on thanks

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  • Filander from West Hamlin | Man | 38 years old | Libra
    Filander

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    Man. 38 years old. Zodiac sign: Libra.

    Looking for: woman. In age: 35-45

    I am a down to earth guy who enjoys fishing and fourwheelers. I don't hang out at the bars. I'm just looking for a connection with someone and go from there. Someplace we are both comfortable and we can talk. maybe grab a bite to eat or whatever we decide on.

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