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Randal, 37
United States, West Virginia, West Hamlin

Online

About Me

None of you is even real. You're all just egirls with your www's and your webcams and those handy ordering pages. Girl, you even got a basket on that thing. I know cause I filled it up! But did I get a single pic of you on your "Meet super horny girls just like me," httpenis trap? Did I get an im after I talked to you and allowed to remote desktop into my computer to upload those pictures? Finally? No! I got an empty wallet, 3 overdrawn visas, and a looping gif of what looks like an Al Queda snuff porn starring a an alien midget that I can't remove for the life of me.Did I see you? No! You were fake. Obviously a cleverly created a Googlebot or something. But with boobs.So all y'all women are just fake Googlebots waiting to E-stroy my manhood and starve my eyeballs of nudity (except for midget nudity, apparently). I also will love you and shower you with joy forever and forever, delivering you an ocean of your best organisms. But let's take it slow.*****************************Ladies, if you think all men are fake, pretend, dolls that are scheming to raid your vaginas before they vanish into the night like ninja, you might want to consider how that comes across to us perusing guys. It reads like this to me, 'I am going to blame anybody but myself for being single. It's the mens' fault and I have simply been taken advantage of and I trusted too soon. I see myself as powerless against this occurring.'So unattractive. Please, think of the perusers.*this message brought to you by the Plenty of Fish Against Fakerists. POFAF, not even once (tm) First is the "Stick Test" where I poke you with one to ensure you aren't a clever illusion and, therefore, hopefully real. Then follow that up with some nice conversation to determine and measure the timbre of your voice and that it isn't too manish. Fool me once shame on me, right?Then, after drinks with my parents, the checking of the identification can begin and we can wind up the night by finally fornicating in my backyard hammock. OMG. So rad.Don't forget, REALITY is the best ITY. Jesus said that, you know, and he was right.

PERSONAL INFORMATION

  • Looking for

    woman

  • Relationship

    Never married

  • Have kids

    No

  • Wants kids

    Yes

  • Ethnicity

    Caucasian

  • Faith

    Other

  • Body type

    Athletic

  • Height

    6'3"

  • Eye color

    Brown

  • Smoke

    Yes, regularly

  • Drink

    Yes, regularly

INTERESTS

Action Fantasy History Western
Wink Icon color PERSONAL INFORMATION Fave
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