Angus, 54
Online
About Me
When not plotting for world domination and scheming for world peace, I fantasize designing the ultimate weight loss pill. I once spent 13 straight days pondering the global warming solution before stumbling upon the answer to the meaning of life, then stupidly forgot to write it down. Contrary to popular belief, I did NOT design the Internet. I once derived a formula to calculate the next lotto's winning numbers, but it was so complex and slow to calculate, it finished the day AFTER the the drawing. I've been clocked going from serious to silly and back again in less than 2.6 seconds. Life is what happens when you're planning it...no matter what happens, it goes on. Dogs and babies generally love me, and I love them back. Coconut cream pie ice cream is probably the greatest invention in the world, followed closely by duct tape, WD-40, and Tivo. Sometimes it's fun just to be a happy idiot. Aliens will never visit the earth....again. Don't be so open-minded that your brains fall out. Remember compliments; forget insults. Keep your love letters; discard your bank statements. Looks aren't everything; the next time you see a Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt twin, think, "Somewhere, some girl is sick and tired of his BS!" There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." Neither kiss a fool, nor be fooled by a kiss. Remember: what people say, what people do, and what people say they do, are completely different things...except for me, that is.The grass is greener on the other side of the fence no matter which side you're on. Don't wish too hard to be there; you may have to cut it someday. Always tell the truth, and you'll never have to remember what you said. Read ***, but don't necessarily follow them. A person who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice person. A smile is the one universal currency of the world; nice straight white teeth the loose change. Pizza ROCKS! Roller coasters RULE! If you're gonna stand there and moo, you better give milk. Some things I know, and some things I don't. I love deadlines, I love the whooshing sound they make when they go by! Just do it, but think of others first. May the Force be with you, but don't give in to the Dark Side. It's not enough to do your best; you must know WHAT to do, and THEN do your best. The reason we have two ears and only one mouth, is that we may hear more and speak less. The trouble with the world is that the stupid are overconfident, and the intelligent are full of doubt. Half of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at. Light travels faster than sound; that's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.Things that make me grin: a smile in return; ice cream stands; small children; a perfect football spiral; crisp, fall days; apple cider; dogs; puppy breath; roller coasters; good friends; simple yet twisted humor; Buckeyes over Wolverines in any sport; that new car smell; Tresor; Halloween; Thanksgiving; watersports; bonfires and toasted marshmallows. Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you'll realize they were the big things. Swing for the fence, yet be happy with a single.Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, low drama, dating experience. This profile does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends or family; don’t quote me on that; all rights reserved; do not bend, fold, spindle, or mutilate; your mileage may vary; no substitutions allowed; for a limited time only; this profile is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; if any defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix me yourself, but return here and select someone else; read at your own risk; parental discretion advised, text may contain explicit materials some readers may find objectionable; not liable for damages arising from use or misuse; for external use only; if a rash or redness develops, discontinue reading; read only with proper ventilation; may contain nutmeg, but we doubt it. Some equipment shown is optional; objects in mirror are larger than they appear.Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with. Life has taught me that the one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.See? And you thought you were going to run across another "...love candlelit dinners, walks on the beach, blah-blah-blah"! Given a preference, I'd prefer to simply jump straight to the 3rd or 4th date, when both parties are bit more comfortable. Of course, the danger there being down the road it would be awkward to reminisce about the first date we'd never had...we'd somehow have to improvise and embellish.
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