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May, 37
United States, Michigan, Portland

Offline, last seen Tue, 13 Jan 2026 22:22:00

About Me

I'm an extreme hopscotch athlete. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. Four years ago I became a Colonel. I woo my man with my sensuous and goddess-like trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook thirty-minute brownies in twenty minutes. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I am a self taught balloon twisting artist.--heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis. Children trust me.Please don't message me with one simple 'hi' or 'hey' or 'what's up'. I've taken the time to write a lot of things here- I deserve to know that you read through it. I will not respond to the small/short messages. ;) And perhaps to save you a little bit of time... I am not interested in dating black men.If you read all of that and are still smiling then you must know that I'm a smart ass and just trying to figure out what to say to catch your attention. I am seeking a long term relationship with someone who can make me smile, someone who is optimistic and is ready to move forward in a relationship. I have a son and I have cats, if you are opposed to either then you should move along. I come from a pretty large family and I like planning events to socialize with former classmates. If you aren't social then we probably wouldn't get along well. I don't go out with friends a lot, but when I do, I'd like to bring a date. The kind of guys I am generally attracted to are probably described as big or heavy, it's just who I am attracted to. If you think we would get along then send me a message and tell me which of the above things you believe are true about me. Let's see... a first date. I assume after the awkward introductions and the forced smiles eventually we'd calm down enough to have a bite to eat. Perhaps some light conversation talking about our families and what an interesting/horrible week it was at work. If it's nice enough outside maybe go to the park and walk around, grab an ice cream and eat it on a blanket while watching the ducks in the pond. Any kind of casual date would be great. I like comedy clubs, karaoke, having some drinks. I'm really up for just about anything.

PERSONAL INFORMATION

  • Looking for

    man

  • Relationship

    Divorced

  • Have kids

    No

  • Wants kids

    Someday

  • Ethnicity

    Caucasian

  • Faith

    Spiritual but not religious

  • Body type

    Curvy

  • Height

    5'7"

  • Eye color

    Brown

  • Smoke

    No

  • Drink

    Yes, socially

INTERESTS

Indonesian Portuguese Spanish Thai Comedy Horror Romance Shooting Sports
Wink Icon color PERSONAL INFORMATION Fave
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SIMILAR PEOPLE

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stars 4.1 out of 5 based Rated 4.1 / 5 Based  on  377 reviews
  • Reina from Portland | Woman | 36 years old | Taurus
    Reina

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    Woman. 36 years old. Zodiac sign: Taurus.

    Looking for: man. In age: 33-43

    Will it ever be my turn to find my soul mate??? Beginning to think NOT!! Im a single mom of 2 wonderful boys that are my world and will ALWAYS come first. I have a fulltime job as an assistant director of a childcare center and have been there for almost 9 years. I support myself and kids and am very independent. I love watching Criminal Minds,Cops,First 48 and Lock Up Raw!! I am a BIG UofL fan and will always be :) My favorite things to do are wrkout at the gym,walks in the park,bowling,movies and supporting my son and his baseball team. Most of my spring,summer and fall is traveling out of town with them for games and I LOVE IT!!! I feel like what i am looking for in a man is pretty simple but im starting to think not so much or there are just not any good guys left..... I swore to myself i would not get on here again but as you can see i lied!! LolIf your interested in more then a one nighter, Fwb or booty call then i hope to hear from you. If the things i just mentioned are what you are looking for then don't waste your time :) You are the man so you can decide. I prefer somewhere quiet so we can talk and get to know each other....

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  • Aspen from Portland | Woman | 36 years old | Sagittarius
    Aspen

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    Woman. 36 years old. Zodiac sign: Sagittarius.

    Looking for: man. In age: 33-43

    I am a sweet smart and sexy girl who knows what she wants!, I am also very out going and nice with a great sense of humor!!I am very spontanious at times and at other times just a home body I like counrty music and trucks, and just taking a ride to see where we might end up.I love football and yes beer too I am that girl who will make u snacks and chill w u while u watch the game!I also like picnics and cooking out i enjoy cooking and baking for the ones i love i feel home made is special.i love to read esp in the winter. i enjoy the outdoors esp in spring and fall theres nothin like a fire on a chilly nite.Writing a summary and posting pictures and answering questionswill never do this girl justice.I just want simple and Happy I WANT SOME ONE TO LAUGH WITH!I WANNA HAVE FUN ~ B SILLY ~I WANT TO B MYSELF ~I WANT A TAKE CHARGE KINDA GUY, WITH A SOFT SIDE!I WANT A SPARK THAT WONT BURN OUT! ( yes its possible)I am not looking for a one night stand !!Looking for some to get to know and enjoy and make happy in every possible way !!

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  • Shulamit from Portland | Woman | 38 years old | Aquarius
    Shulamit

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    Woman. 38 years old. Zodiac sign: Aquarius.

    Looking for: man. In age: 35-45

    I used to be on a bowling league during the winter. The summer i am at the lake camping and swimming or at the pool. I listen to all sorts of music but mostly country. I have a full time job. I am shy at first but once i'm around you for a little bit it's ok. Once i am comfortable around you i can be outspoken at times.

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