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Trueman, 49

Offline, last seen Tue, 24 Feb 2026 22:16:34

About Me

28 yrs as a lighting engineer on shows, concerts and conferences. Now moving into new ventures....what a stupid move at my age....!!!Right, I better add this, to stop others asking time after time. : I had to set up this "GENUINE" profile on here, because some idiot had used my pics from FaceParty, and set up a fake profile (Apparently I had become a northern pub landlord over night) This profile you are reading, has been on here for over 6yrs (In various forms) and in that time, I have chosen to not meet a single person.The site is filled with fake people, using fake pics etc. And I am not desperate to waste time chasing fake people. Should a genuine female pop along, and we are after the same thing, then maybe things will change. I do not want to meet for a one off coffee simply for the sake of meeting up. What's the point in that? I am within 15 feet of a kettle and don't drink coffee anyhow.Kisser, seeks Kissee for undercover work. Full time applicants only, no part time work available!!!if you get the time Google "; and enjoy some of my work. Chocolate Ice cream should raise a smile. Unlike "Snow White"....I don't do Grumpy or Dopey! Oh, I need to point out, I can read...so feel free to leave a message if you pop by. I like long walks.....especially when they are taken by people who annoy me . Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties. He bragged that he had told his wife she needed to do all the dishes and housework. He said that it took a couple days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away. He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes were done, and he had a huge dinner on the table. He boasted that he told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, laundry and ironing twice a week, lawns mowed, windows cleaned and hot meals on the table for every meal.He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, just enough to fix himself a bite to eat, load the dishwasher, and call a handyman.Don't be too quick to judge. Please, don't think that when I make a comment, or ask a question, that its a marriage proposal in disguise!!!!I am NOT scary. You just need to be able to read and understand the profile in the way it was intended......honest!!!A lady walks into Tiffany's. She browses around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it.Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right now.As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her.Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?'Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of her little 'accident', she asks, 'Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?'He answers, 'Madam, if you *** just looking at it, you're going to sh1t yourself when I tell you the price.Everyone has the right to be stupid, some just abuse the privilege!!Please, don't call me "Babes" or "Hun"I've been offered 8 legs of Venison for £300.....is that 2 deer?I called Tibet last week, to speak with a BIG religious personality.!! Turns out, I'd rung Dial a llama!!!Most of this profile is "Tongue in cheek humour" Please don't think I am bitter, or the like, as "Some" people seem to be reading this the wrong way.I don't do lies or liars. I will normally suss them out faster than you could detect a fart in a space suit! If I want anyone to mess with my head, I'll consult a "Phrenologist"Right, this is what I wont be asking for..... I won't be asking for phone numbers, bra sizes, more pics, or MSN details, fave positions, or addresses.Remember what they say "Beauty is in the eye's of the BEER holder"...lol And to stop people asking....No...I don't drink.I love this line.....seen it on a few profiles: "......My friends say I am attractive".....what else are they going to say? I can't be the only person who's seen an Indian, asleep on the train, with a little red dot on their forehead, and thought "F*ck me....it's on standby";Working girl"The woman says its the best sexual experience she has ever had, and what was the technique known as.Its known as the "Four sprung dwarfs technique" they replied.so, there was a teacher in class, who said to the pupils "We as humans, are the only species on earth who suffer from speech defects, stammers, lisps and so on"A boy at the back of the class leant across and started chatting to the boy sat beside him...."If you have something to say, I'd prefer it if you shared it with the class" shouted the teacher."I was just saying, I don't agree with you miss" the boy replied."Well I'm the teacher, and you're the pupil, I'm right and you're wrong" she said."I still think you are wrong", replied the boy "Yesterday, next doors pit bull jumped over our fence, and our cat went FFFFFFFFFFF FFFFFFFFF FFFFFF and before he could say F*!K IN HELL....the pit bull killed him" 2 women sat in a coffee shop, one says to the other, "What with all this plastic surgery going about, I'm thinking of having a bit of Botox to see what all the fuss is about"Her friend turns and says "Thats funny, I was thinking of having my arsh hole bleached""oooooooo No" her friend replies.."I couldnt picture your Brian with Blonde hair"I met a girl once who had a shell tattooed on her inner thigh, and do you know, if you put your ear to it, you could actually smell the sea!!When God made me, she was showing off. I got my bunsen burner, test tubes, petri dishes, and periodic table....now lets just work on the chemistry! Just go easy on the liquids and gases!Not looking to meet any "Knife throwers.....Or smokers!!!

PERSONAL INFORMATION

  • Looking for

    woman

  • Relationship

    Never married

  • Have kids

    No

  • Wants kids

    Yes

  • Ethnicity

    Caucasian

  • Faith

    Spiritual but not religious

  • Body type

    Average

  • Height

    5'11"

  • Eye color

    Brown

  • Smoke

    No

  • Drink

    No

INTERESTS

SIMILAR PEOPLE

Great
stars 4.1 out of 5 based Rated 4.1 / 5 Based  on  377 reviews
  • Belshazzar

    Offline

    Man. 50 years old. Zodiac sign: Aquarius.

    Looking for: woman. In age: 47-57

    got a dog , he lives down garden in is own shed , need some one trustworthy honest, dependable, who wants to be loved but not changed, just do as you always done if you prefer just leave bit of time for me, if you wanna no anything just ask, x ... bit hard need better pic mine crap. done on cam thingy, add not long got up lol, if theres any nice woman who want 2 be spoilt , or just treated as a woman should be treated then i,m your man, suppose realy should lie on here like every one else does then i prob get some were but that aint me so just have to be patient , you are out there ypou just gotta find me, and soon i hope xx i build bikes, and ride um when got the time, gote quite a collection garage full that why now building um in my kitchen, aint dirty in there lol, they at other end not were the food is, dont wanna get food on my bike do i , am buiding another garage at side of my house soon, so can move um out the kitchen then , xx just go for quiet drink and let you decide if we meet again, x

  • Pasquale

    Offline

    Man. 49 years old. Zodiac sign: Leo.

    Looking for: woman. In age: 46-56

    First, foremost and always, I'm a father of three boys, aged 14, 11 and ***Yes, I am Mr.)I suppose I'm a bit of a dichotomyI'm funny, irreverent, politically incorrect, I am ashamably comfortable looking like a slob, yet I love dressing well.I'm equally comfortable at a black tie event or slugging back a few beers with my buddies at the local brasserieI live life with a twinkle in my eye, I'm fun, self confident, self motivated, self employed yet hopefully self-less.I enjoy giving, more so than taking.Sincerity is important to me, I've neither the time nor patience for game playing.I am direct, perhaps too much so at times.I love chatting, cozing up and just sitting on the couch, or perhaps rushing off to catch a play at the Centaur.I want to live life to the fullest, but all the same I'm trying not to get so caught up in the rat race.But for me more than anything, it's about the laughter. I MUST have humor in my life. I am amusing; I guarantee you that you will be laughing, and that makes me happy.Life is too short to be taken too seriously, and my partner HAS to have a sense of humor for me to find her attractive.In my perfect world, we touch; that's important. I like walking hand in hand, or holding each other.Nothing is better than a stroll through The Mountain. Walking together. Laughing.And of course, there has to be chemistry, that undefinable thing - but when you've got it, you just know it.I take care of myself ( at my age ya gotta!)...I go to the gym seven days a week, and run ***km. on one machine or another..as well as work out with weights. I eat well, care for my appearance, and expect the same of my partner.So, I'm shallow enough to admit that looks matter, they do; but that's only a small part of the equation.We all need that magic.My partner will be a self assured, confident woman. What she does isn't important, so long as she does it well.We should all strive to be the best that we can be. I truly believe that within the the fortress of a couple, joys are doubled and sorrows are halved.I hope to find that special someone to share the rest of my life with; but I can honestly say I'm not sure what it is I'm looking for, I just hope I'll recognize it when I find it.In the meantime, at least let's make the journey as much fun as the destination and laugh on the way there.P.S. It's a long story, but I'm actually 54.

  • Tel

    Offline

    Man. 48 years old. Zodiac sign: Leo.

    Looking for: woman. In age: 45-55

    my partner of 20 years at the age of 37, recently had to be placed in nursing care with locked in syndrome, my friends suggested i try to move on, so here go's lets see what happens xx Looking for a friend and partner to share all things that life throws at us, a person who can sense what is going right/wrong without a word being said and willing to work together to make things good, honesty is the best policy, First date would be a nice chat in a bar sharing a few drinks and getting to know one another.

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