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Law, 47
United States, Maryland, Arnold

Offline, last seen Tue, 03 Feb 2026 10:12:39

About Me

My self-summaryI’m an ***hole. I won’t open doors for you, in fact be careful as I will likely trip you as you go through the door for laughs and giggles. I expect you to cook for me and clean up my mess after I eat. And by the way, I’m a really messy eater. Food everywhere, on the floor, in my lap, but these are the least of your worries.I leave my socks on the floor in the bedroom, and yes they stink. I will not do laundry, and insist that you do it. Not just insist, you must LOVE to do my laundry and look forward to it. Look forward to it like you look forward to water in the desert. Look forward to it like you look forward to seeing your family after years of separation. I think you get the picture.Also I don’t do romance, I expect action on the first date, big time action, and I won’t sleep over (yes this will be at your place because I don’t want you to know where I live).This dating site says that I should also talk about these four points so as I don’t waste my time and be successful here, so let me address each one:1. Talk about your hobbies. – kicking puppies2. Talk about your goals/aspirations – finding a rich woman to take care of me3. Talk about yourself and what makes you unique – I’m not unique in the least bit4. Your taste in music – The Cranberries, Enya, Mazzy Star, ****cat Dolls, Indigo GirlsOK girls, waiting for your ***…goWhat I’m doing with my lifeI have no idea what I'm doing in life. Just like I have no idea why tonight's dinner consisted of leftover Easter jellybeans. When I was a kid I dreamed about being a Repo Man. I spent lots of time helping friends and family. I don't mean to seem lazy. I'm a hard worker.I’m really good atCutting lemon wedges. Guitar Hero, Turning on a jukebox with the slight hit of my fist. No wait. That's Fonzy. I can't do that. Thinking of cool tattoo ideas, even though I don't want to ever get one. Running a chainsaw. Apparently I'm good at turning women off. I don't get many responses here. Making my own beef jerky. Sneaking food into the movies. Howling. I should explain that one. My dog howls at the noon whistle. I howl with him. Drawing cows.The first things people usually notice about meFear and trembling.Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and foodBooks: Stranger in a Strange LandMovies: Willy Wonka, IdiocracyShows: Gold Rush, American Shopper, South ParkMusic: Listen only to NPRFood: Will eat anything that doesn't eat me firstThe six things I could never do without"All I need is this lamp!"- Steve MartinI spend a lot of time thinking aboutMaybe you....On a typical Friday night I amHacking into goverment networksThe most private thing I’m willing to admitI like to dress up as Hello Kitty****NOTE**** I made most of this up. It's satire. Please stop sending messages about what an ***hole I am for kicking dogs. I love dogs. Too many factors to think about at this time

PERSONAL INFORMATION

  • Looking for

    woman

  • Relationship

    Never married

  • Have kids

    No

  • Wants kids

    Someday

  • Ethnicity

    Caucasian

  • Faith

    Spiritual but not religious

  • Body type

    Average

  • Height

    6'0"

  • Eye color

    Brown

  • Smoke

    No

  • Drink

    Yes, socially

INTERESTS

Irish Italian Nascar Sailing Shooting Sports
Wink Icon color PERSONAL INFORMATION Fave
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