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Ralphie, 46
United States, Louisiana, Plaquemine

Offline, last seen Sun, 28 Jun 2026 06:37:24

About Me

So I am supposed to sell myself. Let me see. I need to dangle the proverbial carrot of desire. (Lead off comments doubled as sexual metaphors... Good start.) So time for some real suave: Um. wanna ride on my bike? (Perfect... She just pictured herself clutching against my rugged body with the rumble of throbbing horsepower between her long legs. This thing is gonna write itself. ) Well, except that I really don't have a bike. I also don't like activities that have a dress code. Likewise the cliche tattoos. I know the whole motorcycle thing can reel em' in but I'd better really be clever... Oh I got it! I lift heavy objects at my job! (There we go. Excellent.) Hmmm. Maybe not. True, I am a lobsterman but we also have the stigma of being uneducated and smelly. I need to avoid my occupation until I sell her on my persona to avoid any preconceived stereotypes... I got it! What I need to do is tell of the nights of sipping wine that we will share. Yeah wine. Long fluted glasses clinking together celebrating our passionate desires for one another. The taste of smashed grapes on each others lips as we explore each other in low light. Yeah that's more her style. (Uh, except that I'm not overly into wine. Well, I can fake it and I really do like kissing! I am a Pisces, we are considered the best kissers in the Zodiac. Yeah and she'll know that because all women are into astrology! Perfect! I found my angle...) Yeah, she's hooked! I have painted a romantic image of us in a sexy setting in which you can almost taste the wine on our lips. Now where can I take this? Well maybe I should just let her finish the story. The female imagination is more keen and no doubt she already has us in the heat of a passionate encounter... now she'll be craving more and will have to contact me to get it! ) This will give her imagination time to go deeper... (Closing sexual innuendo seamlessly book-ending the profile. Perfect! A Masterpiece!) Now we wait... (Uh, you really are going to write aren't you?) Would it help if I told you how much I love my mom? She's elderly and sweet... One last thing. (Here comes the rant.) If I looked at your profile and never wrote to you I may have labeled you as unapproachable. It may have been a vibe from the photos or something you said in your profile. This may be an unfair but I've found that more of my *** not responded to by women of above average beauty. I simply don't waste the effort anymore on writing to those. I'm not sure why women who could be on magazine covers are on dating sites but they are shopping an elite class of male that I sure don't seem to fit. (I'm thinking it has to do with a dollar figure with many zeros...) I am pretty much up for anything. I do enjoy a place with alcohol because it does loosen people up and kills the nerves a bit.

PERSONAL INFORMATION

  • Looking for

    woman

  • Relationship

    Divorced

  • Have kids

    No

  • Wants kids

    Someday

  • Ethnicity

    Caucasian

  • Faith

    Spiritual but not religious

  • Body type

    Average

  • Height

    5'10"

  • Eye color

    Blue

  • Smoke

    No

  • Drink

    Yes, socially

INTERESTS

American Chinese Middle Eastern Spanish Sailing Collecting
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