SIMILAR PEOPLE
on 377 reviews
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GillespieOffline
Man. 45 years old. Zodiac sign: Scorpio.
Looking for: woman. In age: 42-52
Why doesn't anybody like to play games anymore?Or drama? I love games and drama in a relationship. I hate being outdoors, I'm living underground right now. I hate to laugh. Lucky for me, everyone on this site is apparently very passionate, and so am I. I'm very passionate about bottling up my emotions, and saving them for when we're having dinner with your parents. Oh, and why doesn't anyone like to cuddle while changing the oil under the car? I was reading that HBO and Simmons Upholstery merged to monopolize and regulate the official zones for snuggling. Yeah, but I'm all national league; let's get rid of the designated couch-movie snuggling rule. I have 27 kids, and they're all part of my diabolical plan to steal the world supply of girl-scout cookies, and just so you know, I always respond to their ***, so if you can't handle that, move on... I don't want to see more of the world; it's already all around me. I am sick of travelling, and living life -that's the worst. I hate when I'm living life --and by the way, why do people "live life," but then they don't "die death," why do they just "die?" Seriously, move over John McClane, because I'm gonna die so hard that at my funeral, they'll all say, "Man, that guy really knew how to die death." So I got in an argument over this, and my date said how life is so short, we have to --but then I *** our waiter because the food was taking so long. I hate music --any kind, really, just put on some music, and I'll start complaining about it. Probably my favorite to complain about is 80's music; I can really yell and throw things when that comes on. When it comes to women, I hate good-looking women. Don't even respond if you think you might be hot or sexy or if you smile a lot --forget it. Oh and I should probably say, up-front, that I am one of those guys who is totally just out for sex, but only sex with your sister or BFF, so you don't have to worry there. He's a little "territorial," so it's good if we have the same blood-type. I'm totally not done with wasting my time on losers, so if you ever won anything, don't bother. No pictures, either. I plan to stalk you and take pictures when you're not looking to create an eerie montage on my wall at home. If some of your bathroom-mirror self-portraits accidentally end up in the collection, it's not nearly as creepy. I don't do fun. Fun is so five-minutes ago. So check this out, I found out that you get these things called jobs, and they'll actually pay you to not have fun, and plus they'll yell and be dramatic if anyone even starts having fun. I'm totally not making this up, I even Googled it, and it's way true, so don't send me anymore e-mails about how I'm crazy or on drugs. Drama and games, ***. I'm down for that!Note: obviously, this is satire. I never get any messages, and I'm very busy trying to graduate this year, so I'm kind of out of it. Anyway, this is a work in progress, so have fun, and feel free to suggest revisions / additions.*Dedicated to my friend Richie, who finally tied the knot after being a major competitor in the field of internet-dating dramas...
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WilliedurbijdOffline
Man. 52 years old. Zodiac sign: Libra.
Looking for: woman. In age: 33-50
Hi! My name is Williedurbijd. I am divorced other mixed man with kids from Morgantown, Kentucky, United States. Now I'm looking for new relationships. I want to meet a woman, love of my life.
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JacintoOffline
Man. 43 years old. Zodiac sign: Libra.
Looking for: woman. In age: 40-50
A good date would work. I am open.