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Murdanie, 43

Offline, last seen Tue, 23 Jun 2026 06:16:02

About Me

Haven't had much luck on here but have noticed that honesty seems to be a high priority for most ladies so here goes..... l'm baffled by anything more complicated than a toaster as l have the IQ of a stale pork pie and can't count to 21 unless l'm naked and l don't seem capable of finishing anything l start - unless it's a packet of biscuits. Am frighteningly ugly - my face resembles a medical experiment gone quite horribly wrong, but l do like to keep in shape - this years shape is a sack of spuds. l use one of the three possible Yorkshireman solutions to any given problem - eat it, kill it or shag it and In bed l can offer you a 3 minute fumble including foreplay. My diet consists entirely of pies, donuts and coffee and l drive an old banger that would scare the Stig. Therefore because of all these 'qualities' l'm realistic so l'm not fussy in who l meet as long as you're between ***yrs old, have a body Aphrodite herself would die for, be a raging nympho, a gourmet cook and are quite obscenely rich. These are just a few of my best points so for the full horror of what awaits you send a message and if l can wake up one of my last 2 brain cells l'll come and grunt at you. Ok ladies now please form an orderly queue.... There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.Well if you've got this far then you probably deserve a bit more honesty, l'm told l have a good, if a bit odd, sense of humour (See above), am loyal and caring.-o As for my photos l do smile but l don't like having my photo taken as l always seem to end up looking like something off of crimewatch and if you were this ugly you wouldn't be happy having your photo taken either :-- as long as its cheap, and is out of the way so as not to upset any innocent bystanders.

PERSONAL INFORMATION

  • Looking for

    woman

  • Relationship

    Never married

  • Have kids

    No

  • Wants kids

    Yes

  • Ethnicity

    Caucasian

  • Faith

    Spiritual but not religious

  • Body type

    Athletic

  • Height

    6'2"

  • Eye color

    Blue

  • Smoke

    No

  • Drink

    Yes, socially

INTERESTS

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