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Maurita, 43

Offline, last seen Tue, 09 Jun 2026 06:03:01

About Me

Quick version: ?43 although I look WAY younger (just let me have that ONE:) I have 2 ducklings, ages 5 and 9. Currently separated working thru most issues so money is not wasted on attorney's fees. NO DRAMA. Although our marriage turned into sh*t, we've managed to remain great friends and just want to do what's best for the kids. I'm a commedian and my smart, quick wit may shock you :) ... I'm a free spirit***hugger- brown foot-yogi. I'm the bestest, most down to earth friend one could ever wish for.;The Giving Tree" I would love to find soneone similar. Would love to meet a male, at least 5'10" (for real), thinks positively, belly laughs, has a sense of humor, nice face and body, pretty healthy and willing to learn... or willing to teach... willing to allow a lil' time for my filter to work... Hey!!! where'd everybody go?Bio: i apologize in advanceAnd grab a cup of coffee.... can't fall asleep... there's a test later!!!!! I'm a writer (never said good), have some time finally. So, hope you enjoy. I'm new to this on-line dating thingy...please bare with me...I'm probably going to "be ALL over the place ... cutting here pasting there. Im just hooeful I make it appealing, give you a sense of who I am while making you laugh a lil' bit. I'm Louis CK without the facial hair. Well... okay...with the facial hair.I don't want to waste your time so here a few disclaimers... this way you can move on without having to read my 45 page essay.Looking for a "fling"? Awesome! So is some other chick on F**kbook dot com.... Good luck =u)WARNING: I'm extremely adorable but VERY sarcastic (in a facetious way). My filter has yet to arrive from Amazon (3 weeks... Really???). ADHD =)Squirrel It's important to understand, I never intend to offend or hurt anyone with my nervous, yet hilarious banter.....Should you be the type that gets offended easily or don't care for this type of personality- then you're perhaps, probably, surely, definitely, maybe NOT the right match for me.Go ahead and hit the back arrow if you :Drink to excessCould not find the humor in Django Unchained... laugh a little? !?!?!?!?!Get turned off should someone happen to discuss Monsanto, GMOs, yada yada yada. (I'm not pushy on these topics; merely informed and still learning). Dislike anyone based on race, religion, sexual orientation,ect.. LieCheatPost d**k picsHunt / Kill animals,.bees, beneficial beetles of any kind... etc. HOWEVER:if you notice a mosquito near me...SHOOT IT!!!!Still with me??? Hope so. Please post clear pics of yourself (not JUST of your hobbies, i.e. ONLY your cars, fish, pics with your ex-girlfriend cut out...)Please make sure your bathroom is picked up before you *** of you holding your cell =o)SMILE in your pics!!! (Checkin for a full grill here...)Have a sense of humor! Girls dig it!Tell me how cute I am even if I look like sh.... eh hem... backspace key????=+=***~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I am a mother of 2 children. My daughter is 9 and my son is 5. Not ONE class in Early Childhood Education prepared me for a "mini me" nor a 5 yr old stunt man... I may have to invest in Poise Liners (jk.... i hope). I live in the same neighborhood as my Ex and we get along MUCH better now than when we were together... No Drama... No Jealousy.DISCLAIMER: We're CURRENTLY going thru the divorce process. We're against paying an attorney to work out the kinks while we can figure them out first. Understand?I don't care how much money you make, the car you drive or if you're body is painted and pierced. I embrace individuality, as long as you're very, very wealthy... uh backspace key +=***????? .... FILTER?!?!?! =u) During the day, I'm an entrepreneur (babysitting referral service), work in marketing, and volunteer for my favorite non-profit as often as i can.Sadly, most nights I'm at home...pretending I understand my 4th grader's math homework and keeping my son Velcro- My invention.... please, no calls to DCF. They're sick of me already.I love spending quality time with my ducklings, wine with friends, open mic nights, Farmer's Markets...LOVE yoga... the whole mentality (namaste).More later...Things I expect and want and will ALSO give in return:HonestySmile linesBelly laughsUnderstandingCompassionHappinessPDAGenuine FriendshipSense of humor (??!??! Please?? I've got a quick wit and it might be hard to keep up.... )LoyaltySurprisesBest FriendshipBONUS POINTS IF YOU:Care about the environment...Eat Fireballs WITHOUT taking it out of your mouth Have energy Eat Healthy Love your familyThink I'm prettyLove children and are willing to take mine for a few da..... backspace key +=+==+??????? UG!If you made it this far (and by "this far" I mean you ACTUALLY read my profile besides just viewing the pics), I appreciate it.... so.... thanks! YOU'LL BE TESTED Coffee and lobster ... no particular order...(*Note to self: Google the meaning of "date"....(been so long but WAIT...I know I know this one....okay..um..NOT "birth-"date"..NO no..um...ahem........ something people do ..... OH MY GAWD......help!)

PERSONAL INFORMATION

  • Looking for

    man

  • Relationship

    Separated

  • Have kids

    No

  • Wants kids

    Someday

  • Ethnicity

    Caucasian

  • Faith

    Jewish

  • Body type

    Athletic

  • Height

    5'5"

  • Eye color

    Brown

  • Smoke

    No

  • Drink

    Yes, socially

INTERESTS

SIMILAR PEOPLE

Great
stars 4.1 out of 5 based Rated 4.1 / 5 Based  on  377 reviews
  • Winter

    Offline

    Woman. 42 years old. Zodiac sign: Aquarius.

    Looking for: man. In age: 39-49

    Happily separated professional, comfortable with life & who I am - seeking someone similar! Positive outlook & good sense of humour a distinct advantage! Easy going with a busy life, career and homelife v important although sometimes its a challenge and a juggle! Love all kinds of music. Am as happy getting ready for a black-tie event as I am putting on the baseball hat & jeans for a walk along the beach. Core values would probably be along the integrity/honesty line. Have had a very full life up to now, and am always looking forward to tomorrow. Enjoy escaping from work orientated literature by reading anything along the self-discovery/self-improvement line....NLP, Life Coaching etc. Friends discribe me as fun, bubbly, honest & loyal. Ideal night with friends would normally include some fine food, fine wine & lots of laughter. Also enjoy old fashioned pubs with a warm welcoming fire, in need of a lick of paint, but with tons of character and characters to chat to. Meeting for a coffee/chat & ideally some laughter!

  • Dani

    Offline

    Woman. 42 years old. Zodiac sign: Aquarius.

    Looking for: man. In age: 39-49

    Hi ThereWell I am updating my profile since I actually decided to start using it … Lets see where to being, I moved here from NY in 05 so yes I am a New Yorker.... I have an accent but I don’t think I have the typical NY type of attitude (no offense NY ;p ) I have a great sense of humor and often wise a** and goofy……. I just love to laugh and enjoy being around other people that find humor in almost everything. I am pretty outgoing but can be shy when it comes to dating or meeting new people….at least at first. I take care in my appearance and for the most part I am girly but I am the type of girl that can hang with the boys. I’m not into working out everyday eating tofu or saving the earth ***………I work out when I can, I eat healthy most times and do my part saving the planet on occasion. I have a huge heart and lots of friends, meeting people isn’t a problem, its meeting the right people. I do go out with my friends on occasion and Mr. Wrong is always there so I am not on here to “hook up”. I tend to date younger as I look younger and apparently act younger then most people my age so I will rarely respond to someone who looks like they could be my father...not trying to be rude, just be honest, everyone has a type so I’m putting it out there. I would like to meet a like-minded person who takes care in his appearance, who has a really good sense of humor and a soft side to see if there are any sparks. I am a big believer in sparks, I think you can tell right away if there’s even a possibility of a next date. I am not a big fan of speaking on the phone as I feel that is awkward, ***, chat, txt then lets meet up for a coffee or a drink. On the first date it should be casual yet intimate enough so that we can hear each other converse. Drinks over lunch, a cup of coffee and a chat? Dont try to hard, I want to meet the real you :)

  • Bristol

    Offline

    Woman. 45 years old. Zodiac sign: Aquarius.

    Looking for: man. In age: 42-52

    I love travel, cultural life, theatre/baley/opera, hand crafts, reading, coffee in bed :)My music taste depends on my mood and a person I'm listening it with.I'm smart and educated, so expecting something similar from you.I like when people appreciate me for who I am.P.S. Health and time are the most important in life. All the most important in life we can not buy.I respect others time and expect them to respect mine too.So, I HATE who is late to meet. Currently I had a date and on first meeting man could come 40 minutes late ! It is disrespect, it is humiliation. Very sad that in 21 century men are loosing maners. Are we going back into monkeys ? Not funny ! Hope for understanding and respect. Being very easy, sincere, funny, friendly and merry I will not change myself in ''subject about time''.

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