Maurita, 43
Offline, last seen Thu, 23 Oct 2025 10:26:17
About Me
Quick version: ?43 although I look WAY younger (just let me have that ONE:) I have 2 ducklings, ages 5 and 9. Currently separated working thru most issues so money is not wasted on attorney's fees. NO DRAMA. Although our marriage turned into sh*t, we've managed to remain great friends and just want to do what's best for the kids. I'm a commedian and my smart, quick wit may shock you :) ... I'm a free spirit***hugger- brown foot-yogi. I'm the bestest, most down to earth friend one could ever wish for.;The Giving Tree" I would love to find soneone similar. Would love to meet a male, at least 5'10" (for real), thinks positively, belly laughs, has a sense of humor, nice face and body, pretty healthy and willing to learn... or willing to teach... willing to allow a lil' time for my filter to work... Hey!!! where'd everybody go?Bio: i apologize in advanceAnd grab a cup of coffee.... can't fall asleep... there's a test later!!!!! I'm a writer (never said good), have some time finally. So, hope you enjoy. I'm new to this on-line dating thingy...please bare with me...I'm probably going to "be ALL over the place ... cutting here pasting there. Im just hooeful I make it appealing, give you a sense of who I am while making you laugh a lil' bit. I'm Louis CK without the facial hair. Well... okay...with the facial hair.I don't want to waste your time so here a few disclaimers... this way you can move on without having to read my 45 page essay.Looking for a "fling"? Awesome! So is some other chick on F**kbook dot com.... Good luck =u)WARNING: I'm extremely adorable but VERY sarcastic (in a facetious way). My filter has yet to arrive from Amazon (3 weeks... Really???). ADHD =)Squirrel It's important to understand, I never intend to offend or hurt anyone with my nervous, yet hilarious banter.....Should you be the type that gets offended easily or don't care for this type of personality- then you're perhaps, probably, surely, definitely, maybe NOT the right match for me.Go ahead and hit the back arrow if you :Drink to excessCould not find the humor in Django Unchained... laugh a little? !?!?!?!?!Get turned off should someone happen to discuss Monsanto, GMOs, yada yada yada. (I'm not pushy on these topics; merely informed and still learning). Dislike anyone based on race, religion, sexual orientation,ect.. LieCheatPost d**k picsHunt / Kill animals,.bees, beneficial beetles of any kind... etc. HOWEVER:if you notice a mosquito near me...SHOOT IT!!!!Still with me??? Hope so. Please post clear pics of yourself (not JUST of your hobbies, i.e. ONLY your cars, fish, pics with your ex-girlfriend cut out...)Please make sure your bathroom is picked up before you *** of you holding your cell =o)SMILE in your pics!!! (Checkin for a full grill here...)Have a sense of humor! Girls dig it!Tell me how cute I am even if I look like sh.... eh hem... backspace key????=+=***~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I am a mother of 2 children. My daughter is 9 and my son is 5. Not ONE class in Early Childhood Education prepared me for a "mini me" nor a 5 yr old stunt man... I may have to invest in Poise Liners (jk.... i hope). I live in the same neighborhood as my Ex and we get along MUCH better now than when we were together... No Drama... No Jealousy.DISCLAIMER: We're CURRENTLY going thru the divorce process. We're against paying an attorney to work out the kinks while we can figure them out first. Understand?I don't care how much money you make, the car you drive or if you're body is painted and pierced. I embrace individuality, as long as you're very, very wealthy... uh backspace key +=***????? .... FILTER?!?!?! =u) During the day, I'm an entrepreneur (babysitting referral service), work in marketing, and volunteer for my favorite non-profit as often as i can.Sadly, most nights I'm at home...pretending I understand my 4th grader's math homework and keeping my son Velcro- My invention.... please, no calls to DCF. They're sick of me already.I love spending quality time with my ducklings, wine with friends, open mic nights, Farmer's Markets...LOVE yoga... the whole mentality (namaste).More later...Things I expect and want and will ALSO give in return:HonestySmile linesBelly laughsUnderstandingCompassionHappinessPDAGenuine FriendshipSense of humor (??!??! Please?? I've got a quick wit and it might be hard to keep up.... )LoyaltySurprisesBest FriendshipBONUS POINTS IF YOU:Care about the environment...Eat Fireballs WITHOUT taking it out of your mouth Have energy Eat Healthy Love your familyThink I'm prettyLove children and are willing to take mine for a few da..... backspace key +=+==+??????? UG!If you made it this far (and by "this far" I mean you ACTUALLY read my profile besides just viewing the pics), I appreciate it.... so.... thanks! YOU'LL BE TESTED Coffee and lobster ... no particular order...(*Note to self: Google the meaning of "date"....(been so long but WAIT...I know I know this one....okay..um..NOT "birth-"date"..NO no..um...ahem........ something people do ..... OH MY GAWD......help!)
PERSONAL INFORMATION
-
Looking for
man
-
Relationship
Separated
-
Have kids
No
-
Wants kids
Someday
-
Ethnicity
Caucasian
-
Faith
Jewish
-
Body type
Athletic
-
Height
5'5"
-
Eye color
Brown
-
Smoke
No
-
Drink
Yes, socially
INTERESTS
on 377 reviews
Adelyn
Abbygail
Belinda