SIMILAR PEOPLE
on 377 reviews
-
MirandaOnline
Woman. 34 years old. Zodiac sign: Aquarius.
Looking for: man. In age: 31-41
All right, it’s officially hit the fan and now we are just trying to see what sticks. Now, granted, the common denominator in everything is me, but this is America, personal responsibility is no longer necessary. Also, I vacillate between red and blonde, my natural color, so I have pictures of both.Apparently it is easier to eat organically than meet someone that way, and, according to my search criteria on this site, I might as well be tracking a unicorn. So, I’m just going to start listing a few things as attributes as well as desirables, and go from there. ME:1.) First and foremost, you should know my soul has been removed to make room for all of this sarcasm. It is just one of the many services I offer. Frankly, it should have its own font. 2.)I can’t tell you the last time I actually had cable. I like to read those bound things with lots of words and no pictures called books. I also love movies and quote them far too often for a normal person to appreciate. If I enjoy a TV show, I watch it on Netflix or Hulu.3.)You are more likely to see me sporting freckles than make-up. I’m lazy and don’t enjoy applying it. I do wear it occasionally, but if you require full time spackle, you buy it.4.)I love crossword puzzles and board games. I am extremely competitive and believe fifth place trophies are like preschool graduations - ridiculous. (Also on my list of pet peeves: people who dress their dogs like humans and Twitter.)5.)I have cats. I realize this is a bummer to many of you out there. I ask you go beyond merely tolerating them to actually liking them. I grew up with all kinds of animals and adore big dogs. I find it harder to fake affection for a Chihuahua than an orgasm. 6.)My family is very important to me and I am close to them. That being said, I am one of five children and my daughter is one of nine grandkids - so far. They are all crazy, but fun! We love and forgive very easily, and, if nothing else, serve as amazing fodder for that novel you have always wanted to write.7.)I am a true Scorpio. I am extremely *** passionate. I think intuitively and make emotional decisions; not all of them are good.8.)I have visible tattoos and am a member of MENSA. Oh, sweet irony! I plan on getting more tattoos, AND allowing for intellectual growth, because I am an information junky. Your mother will like me during the winter months when "those ugly things" are covered, and due to my outstanding table etiquette. Seriously.9.)I virtually always have music playing; I love it. I enjoy everything but country, I cannot stress this enough. 10.)In case you missed it, I have a kid. It's a girl. She is six, lives with me full time.For the most part it's a fun situation, but I won't lie, there are times when I am just waiting for the NSA to recruit her for interogations. I am virtually positive the appropriate tantrum could break any double agent into forking over the secret formula for cold fusion.YOU:1. This doesn’t mean your testosterone level leaves you with no neck, and you can’t touch your arms to your sides. Rather, I enjoy a man who knows what he wants, who has ambition, and that doesn't mind taking charge. Chivalry is not just about politeness, it’s about security.2.)No killing living things. Owning a gun is fine; shooting at the range is fine, hell, shoot your Republican friend! You may pick a flower for me if you like, but other than that, leave the Battle Royale between man and beast to the ancient Romans. This includes shooting squirrels with an air rifle in your backyard.3.)If English is your first language, speak it correctly. I come from a long line of grammar Nazis, and I will correct you. 4.)No video games, computer games, or anything else that makes 2-D fantasy more desirable than 3-D sex.5.)Visiting your parents is fine, just so long as it doesn't involve simply walking upstairs, get it? A separate bathroom or entrance does not invoke a "cottage" situation. 6. I'm already fairly tall for a girl, and if I want to wear heels, I don't want people thinking you're my nephew or making oral sex jokes. 7.)Please understand the male to female ratio on this site. If you *** "Hi", "nice pics", "how r u doing", I'm not going to reply, I'm sorry. Clearly you didn't read anything and must be punished. And when I don't reply, please don't bother sending me hate mail. It wastes your time and my wi-fi for something that no one cares about.8.) Do you have a photo of yourself in the mirror taken with your cell phone? If so, I will assume you don't have any friends to take a decent picture for you, or are not competent enough to enable to "self portrait" function of your phone.9.) Only "separated" or "waiting for your divorce to be final?" Then you can continue to wait for quality of that thing you like so much. Good for you. You plan it, you keep it going, you win!
-
DebsOnline
Woman. 34 years old. Zodiac sign: Gemini.
Looking for: man. In age: 31-41
I like television and music. I like to read books, and lounge.I cant think of much else to write at the moment.I like to garden,go on vacations. Looking forward to going to school, and furthering my career. Actually, I have alot more to share, so if you are a genuine person, just message me, and I will tell you whatever you want to know. Have no idea. Leave that up to you.
-
RimonOnline
Woman. 33 years old. Zodiac sign: Aries.
Looking for: man. In age: 30-40
I am a dynamic individual, often seen scaling footpaths and crushing hearts. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning pornos, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three minutes in a row. I woo men with my sensuous and godlike sitar playing, I can pilot Barbie scooters up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in forty minutes. I develop black eyes in mere minutes. Using only a leatherman and a large glass of beer, I once single- I play strip poker quite successfully (especially with the aforementioned monkeys), I was scouted by the spearmint rhino, I am the subject of numerous rumors. When I'm bored, I draw rude comics. I enjoy shark diving. On Wednesdays, after work, I repair appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of leather evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number forty-two and have won the weekend passes.-force drinking demonstration. I bat .nothing. Children hate me. I can hurl drinking straws at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Go Griff Go, The Cat in the Hat, and The Cat in the Hat Comes Back in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dog house that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in Tesco. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep standing up. The laws of physics do not apply to me. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but I forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning worms.-diving competitions in Havasu, and spelling bees at the Vatican.-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis. “This is where we are at right now, as a whole. No one is left out of the loop. We are experiencing a reality based on a thin veneer of lies and illusions. A world where greed is our God and wisdom is sin, where division is key and unity is fantasy, where the ego-driven cleverness of the mind is praised, rather than the intelligence of the heart.” Bill Hicks, legend and possible prophet Anything awesome, as long as you have a car, a job, and an ounce of prudence. Racists, homophobes, devout Catholics, and mummy's boys need not apply. Froods and Time Lords highly preferred and immensely revered.