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Miranda, 34

Online

About Me

All right, it’s officially hit the fan and now we are just trying to see what sticks. Now, granted, the common denominator in everything is me, but this is America, personal responsibility is no longer necessary. Also, I vacillate between red and blonde, my natural color, so I have pictures of both.Apparently it is easier to eat organically than meet someone that way, and, according to my search criteria on this site, I might as well be tracking a unicorn. So, I’m just going to start listing a few things as attributes as well as desirables, and go from there. ME:1.) First and foremost, you should know my soul has been removed to make room for all of this sarcasm. It is just one of the many services I offer. Frankly, it should have its own font. 2.)I can’t tell you the last time I actually had cable. I like to read those bound things with lots of words and no pictures called books. I also love movies and quote them far too often for a normal person to appreciate. If I enjoy a TV show, I watch it on Netflix or Hulu.3.)You are more likely to see me sporting freckles than make-up. I’m lazy and don’t enjoy applying it. I do wear it occasionally, but if you require full time spackle, you buy it.4.)I love crossword puzzles and board games. I am extremely competitive and believe fifth place trophies are like preschool graduations - ridiculous. (Also on my list of pet peeves: people who dress their dogs like humans and Twitter.)5.)I have cats. I realize this is a bummer to many of you out there. I ask you go beyond merely tolerating them to actually liking them. I grew up with all kinds of animals and adore big dogs. I find it harder to fake affection for a Chihuahua than an orgasm. 6.)My family is very important to me and I am close to them. That being said, I am one of five children and my daughter is one of nine grandkids - so far. They are all crazy, but fun! We love and forgive very easily, and, if nothing else, serve as amazing fodder for that novel you have always wanted to write.7.)I am a true Scorpio. I am extremely *** passionate. I think intuitively and make emotional decisions; not all of them are good.8.)I have visible tattoos and am a member of MENSA. Oh, sweet irony! I plan on getting more tattoos, AND allowing for intellectual growth, because I am an information junky. Your mother will like me during the winter months when "those ugly things" are covered, and due to my outstanding table etiquette. Seriously.9.)I virtually always have music playing; I love it. I enjoy everything but country, I cannot stress this enough. 10.)In case you missed it, I have a kid. It's a girl. She is six, lives with me full time.For the most part it's a fun situation, but I won't lie, there are times when I am just waiting for the NSA to recruit her for interogations. I am virtually positive the appropriate tantrum could break any double agent into forking over the secret formula for cold fusion.YOU:1. This doesn’t mean your testosterone level leaves you with no neck, and you can’t touch your arms to your sides. Rather, I enjoy a man who knows what he wants, who has ambition, and that doesn't mind taking charge. Chivalry is not just about politeness, it’s about security.2.)No killing living things. Owning a gun is fine; shooting at the range is fine, hell, shoot your Republican friend! You may pick a flower for me if you like, but other than that, leave the Battle Royale between man and beast to the ancient Romans. This includes shooting squirrels with an air rifle in your backyard.3.)If English is your first language, speak it correctly. I come from a long line of grammar Nazis, and I will correct you. 4.)No video games, computer games, or anything else that makes 2-D fantasy more desirable than 3-D sex.5.)Visiting your parents is fine, just so long as it doesn't involve simply walking upstairs, get it? A separate bathroom or entrance does not invoke a "cottage" situation. 6. I'm already fairly tall for a girl, and if I want to wear heels, I don't want people thinking you're my nephew or making oral sex jokes. 7.)Please understand the male to female ratio on this site. If you *** "Hi", "nice pics", "how r u doing", I'm not going to reply, I'm sorry. Clearly you didn't read anything and must be punished. And when I don't reply, please don't bother sending me hate mail. It wastes your time and my wi-fi for something that no one cares about.8.) Do you have a photo of yourself in the mirror taken with your cell phone? If so, I will assume you don't have any friends to take a decent picture for you, or are not competent enough to enable to "self portrait" function of your phone.9.) Only "separated" or "waiting for your divorce to be final?" Then you can continue to wait for quality of that thing you like so much. Good for you. You plan it, you keep it going, you win!

PERSONAL INFORMATION

  • Looking for

    man

  • Relationship

    Never married

  • Have kids

    No

  • Wants kids

    Someday

  • Ethnicity

    Caucasian

  • Faith

    Other

  • Body type

    Slim

  • Height

    5'8"

  • Eye color

    Blue

  • Smoke

    No

  • Drink

    Yes, socially

INTERESTS

SIMILAR PEOPLE

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  • Kasha

    Online

    Woman. 35 years old. Zodiac sign: Pisces.

    Looking for: man. In age: 32-42

    It's all about the pics, I know. Hence the stair shots. Most, even exes, would say I have a lot to offer, that I'm a catch. I suppose it's about being "caught". How do I sum myself up? Putting oneself in one category seems a bit crazy as one word doesnt' define everyone. I’d like to say my mind is my best feature. At the core I can find humor in anything- I enjoy making others laugh and can't imagine life without laughter. I've been called the savant of sarcasm (Rainman) and it's a shield I wear with pride though my humor can be an acquired taste for some. Friends would say I have smarts, style, spunk, sensitivity, all in one package. I have a career that I love and have worked hard to attain. I work a lot but make time for friends and family.Loyalty is my saving grace and perhaps my doom as well.I have a few confessions-I kick butt at Scattergories. I could watch The Other Guys over and over. I appreciate the architecture of stairs. Gag reels crack me up more then movies themselves at times. I can quote Top Gun line for line-love, love that movie. I wear skirts and dresses but can rock jeans as well. I played basketball and volleyball for years and need to be moving as I get bored easily. What I am looking for….I don’t think you can ever really know if you’re going to “click” with someone until you meet them (in person). Tall is good- I wear heels and I'd rather look up at my partner than down on them. Please be funny.I typically am attracted to Caucasian guys who keep fit. I’m honestly not looking for a quick flash in the pan because 1) about the only thing I can cook are chocolate chip pancakesI am seeking someone that likes to laugh, has smarts but a sense of adventure as well, and is educated (given my line of work I would be hypocritical if I didn't seek someone who has attained higher education.Must like kids- I don't have them, but I work with them and adore them, and if you don't like them, there's something wrong with you....Happy fishing. It's not necessarily the activity as the person you're engaged in the activity with- I've had fun at Great America and just as much fun getting coffee or dinner. I've never played paintball but always wanted to shoot. What does that say about me?

  • Bunny

    Online

    Woman. 34 years old. Zodiac sign: Cancer.

    Looking for: man. In age: 31-41

    I am moving to the east bay and i don't know that many people in the area, so I am giving this a try to meet new peeps. I work in government affairs and will be starting in a new company soon. Can't wait for the new opportunity! I have a passion for the industry, but life experiences have taught me the art of balance. I self admittedly read drudgereport about 2 times a day. I am a big fan of live music venues and festivals. Can't wait for Hardly Strictly this year. The line up looks amazing! I am also a Gamer babe and a huge Giants fan. I enjoy baseball and know the game. Unfortunately the season has been a tough one that has been racked with injuries and lukewarm bats. I made it to 7 games this year but want to try and get to more next year. I love wine and even have an on call job at a winery just to learn more about the industry and meet some other fellow wine lovers. I am looking for someone who is ready to experience life, willing to get outside of his comfort zone from time to time. Someone who is educated will be a better fit for me. Intellectual conversation is a must. I just started getting back into mountain bike riding. I am looking forward to discovering the bike trail near my new place.

  • Amee

    Online

    Woman. 35 years old. Zodiac sign: Scorpio.

    Looking for: man. In age: 32-42

    I am looking to find that special man to spend my life with. One who shares the same interest as me? And one who looks forward in being together and can make me laugh. I am a hopeless romantic and would love to find a special one who is a touch old fashion values/ respect and knows how to treat a women right. I do believe my soul mate is out there and we will live our fairy tale life together.I don't have any kids at this point in my life. However, I do want to have children of my own sometime in the future. Once of course I meet the right person and the relationship is heading in the right direction. I do feel that I need to be upfront about the kid thing. I'm not looking to waste anyone's time nor mine. So if you are not wanting children, a smoker, looking for hook ups, or dating multiple girls then please continue. I am not the girl for you.I enjoy happy hour with friends, going to movies or even watching a movie with Netflix at home. I enjoy all kinds of music, concerts or going to watch a live band. I love to cook, travel and love sports. I just getting into wine, and snowboarding so I have enjoyed going wine tasting. And for snowboarding, a few bumps and bruise but it sure is fun. Something low key and casual that allows us to talk and get to know each other.

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