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Miranda, 34
United States, Georgia, Douglas

Online

About Me

All right, it’s officially hit the fan and now we are just trying to see what sticks. Now, granted, the common denominator in everything is me, but this is America, personal responsibility is no longer necessary. Also, I vacillate between red and blonde, my natural color, so I have pictures of both.Apparently it is easier to eat organically than meet someone that way, and, according to my search criteria on this site, I might as well be tracking a unicorn. So, I’m just going to start listing a few things as attributes as well as desirables, and go from there. ME:1.) First and foremost, you should know my soul has been removed to make room for all of this sarcasm. It is just one of the many services I offer. Frankly, it should have its own font. 2.)I can’t tell you the last time I actually had cable. I like to read those bound things with lots of words and no pictures called books. I also love movies and quote them far too often for a normal person to appreciate. If I enjoy a TV show, I watch it on Netflix or Hulu.3.)You are more likely to see me sporting freckles than make-up. I’m lazy and don’t enjoy applying it. I do wear it occasionally, but if you require full time spackle, you buy it.4.)I love crossword puzzles and board games. I am extremely competitive and believe fifth place trophies are like preschool graduations - ridiculous. (Also on my list of pet peeves: people who dress their dogs like humans and Twitter.)5.)I have cats. I realize this is a bummer to many of you out there. I ask you go beyond merely tolerating them to actually liking them. I grew up with all kinds of animals and adore big dogs. I find it harder to fake affection for a Chihuahua than an orgasm. 6.)My family is very important to me and I am close to them. That being said, I am one of five children and my daughter is one of nine grandkids - so far. They are all crazy, but fun! We love and forgive very easily, and, if nothing else, serve as amazing fodder for that novel you have always wanted to write.7.)I am a true Scorpio. I am extremely *** passionate. I think intuitively and make emotional decisions; not all of them are good.8.)I have visible tattoos and am a member of MENSA. Oh, sweet irony! I plan on getting more tattoos, AND allowing for intellectual growth, because I am an information junky. Your mother will like me during the winter months when "those ugly things" are covered, and due to my outstanding table etiquette. Seriously.9.)I virtually always have music playing; I love it. I enjoy everything but country, I cannot stress this enough. 10.)In case you missed it, I have a kid. It's a girl. She is six, lives with me full time.For the most part it's a fun situation, but I won't lie, there are times when I am just waiting for the NSA to recruit her for interogations. I am virtually positive the appropriate tantrum could break any double agent into forking over the secret formula for cold fusion.YOU:1. This doesn’t mean your testosterone level leaves you with no neck, and you can’t touch your arms to your sides. Rather, I enjoy a man who knows what he wants, who has ambition, and that doesn't mind taking charge. Chivalry is not just about politeness, it’s about security.2.)No killing living things. Owning a gun is fine; shooting at the range is fine, hell, shoot your Republican friend! You may pick a flower for me if you like, but other than that, leave the Battle Royale between man and beast to the ancient Romans. This includes shooting squirrels with an air rifle in your backyard.3.)If English is your first language, speak it correctly. I come from a long line of grammar Nazis, and I will correct you. 4.)No video games, computer games, or anything else that makes 2-D fantasy more desirable than 3-D sex.5.)Visiting your parents is fine, just so long as it doesn't involve simply walking upstairs, get it? A separate bathroom or entrance does not invoke a "cottage" situation. 6. I'm already fairly tall for a girl, and if I want to wear heels, I don't want people thinking you're my nephew or making oral sex jokes. 7.)Please understand the male to female ratio on this site. If you *** "Hi", "nice pics", "how r u doing", I'm not going to reply, I'm sorry. Clearly you didn't read anything and must be punished. And when I don't reply, please don't bother sending me hate mail. It wastes your time and my wi-fi for something that no one cares about.8.) Do you have a photo of yourself in the mirror taken with your cell phone? If so, I will assume you don't have any friends to take a decent picture for you, or are not competent enough to enable to "self portrait" function of your phone.9.) Only "separated" or "waiting for your divorce to be final?" Then you can continue to wait for quality of that thing you like so much. Good for you. You plan it, you keep it going, you win!

PERSONAL INFORMATION

  • Looking for

    man

  • Relationship

    Never married

  • Have kids

    No

  • Wants kids

    Someday

  • Ethnicity

    Caucasian

  • Faith

    Other

  • Body type

    Slim

  • Height

    5'8"

  • Eye color

    Blue

  • Smoke

    No

  • Drink

    Yes, socially

INTERESTS

Mystery Romance
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