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Hae, 22
United States, Alabama, Guntersville

Online

About Me

Can you read? I suggest you read the whole profile, because I'll know ifa) You didn't read the profile and come off as a moronb) Send a copy and paste message, resulting in an insult based on your photo/how badly your "about me" is filled out.Feel inadequate yet? ok!Yes... I am from South Africa, yes that is a country if you're wondering and yes... if you're still this clueless as to this point in my profile as to how a white person may be from Africa you should click alt+F4 to send me an ***! My profile appears to be messed up like that... seriously... alt+F4 works if you haven't clicked both at once by now.No? Still here? Well you can't exactly deny my attempt to lose ya!I'm from South Africa and I'm a stand-up comedian. No I won't give you any jokes to tell your friends, because nobody who's smart works for free. I'm a student at UW, so screw your predispositions of a white girl going to WLU. Not only do I love beer, but I love alcohol in general! No good story ever began with "I'm high on life..." or ended with "..and then I got home", so don't even try if drinking isn't in your repertoire!OK, so more about me... since some guys on here are freakin retards and don't care to write more than 50 keystrokes. Seriously. If you can't fill your "about me" I'll assume you're a serial killer/rapist and will *** messages. Being a comedian, I've seen my fair share of events and guys. You will be made fun of if you're a moron, just a heads up. If you're willing to put an actual effort into the first message, full props to you bru!.. I love using the vuvuzela and if you hated them in ***you'd best not send me a message. It's a Saffer staple!For food anything on the braai (ugh... barbecue) works. I don't care what animal it is, I'm a Boer and I'll eat what's on the plate in front of me!Music: don't give me country. Seriously. I don't care about your dog/girlfriend/tractor or in many cases they're all the same (do you people screw animals here? yikes), so don't message me if you're a "country boy". I love rock and techno and/or high BPM music. If you can match that, you're good.Books I don't care. If you're literate and can actually use proper grammar/syntax you can message me without getting a sarcastic message. Otherwise I'll assume you're a chromosome short of a full man.Movies I love, just hate chick flicks. If you think "; are the ideal story I think you're not cut out for me. I love a good documentary or mindf**k. P.S. I like to sneak alcohol into theatres to spice films up!I know what happened to Mankrik's wife. Get this reference without googling and I'll be amazed.I have a few dislikes... If you can't spell words like "you" or "are" without trying, don't bother messaging me. Same goes for the following:Your = possessive -Your language is badYou're = You are - You're illiterateYou = Shouldn't need this or your grade 7 English teachers are hanging themselves...Their = possessive - Their profile is poorly filled outThere = a place - I won't go there for fear of being subjected to his stupidityThey're = they are - They're too stupid to send me a message but still mess up anyways and send me something 2 shades higher than down syndrome because people don't know how to read.Asking "How are you?" or "What's going on?" isn't funny or original. It's sad. Please don't ask that.I'm a nice girl however. I get paid to make people laugh, and quite well for that matter. I've done standup throughout the land and won't hesitate to try my luck with Canadians. I'll try not to mention people from this site, as that would be rude. Disclaimer: I have an accent and Canadians are borderline retarded when it comes to accents. I've been called a resident of everywhere BUT South Africa. It's pretty sad.I hate kids. Sorry, but don't ever introduce them into my life or I'll introduce you to a door out of my life. Same goes for your family... at least until I'm cool with you. Meeting someone's parents from the first through eighth dates is awkward as hell, so don't pull that. If you're looking for easy sex, HAH! Try somewhere else buddy.

PERSONAL INFORMATION

  • Looking for

    man

  • Relationship

    Never married

  • Have kids

    No

  • Wants kids

    No

  • Ethnicity

    Caucasian

  • Faith

    Spiritual but not religious

  • Body type

    Slim

  • Height

    5'5"

  • Eye color

    Blue

  • Smoke

    No

  • Drink

    Yes, socially

INTERESTS

History Horror Martial Arts Western Bowling
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