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Puttyytheputa5, 63

Online

About Me

Hello! Thanks for having a looky-loo at me! In the interests of full disclosure, let me begin by saying that I was recently released from prison after spending ***years of my life there. Now, before you dismiss me, let me assure you that I have an official certificate signed by several doctors who are “State-board certified” and guarantee that they’re perfectly comfortable with me participating in public surroundings. Seven of them even suggested that public malls would be acceptable! Obviously, for safety reasons and before contacting me, some of you are going to want to know what offense landed me in prison. My lawyer said that I must tread lightly on that subject due to certain “Statute of limitations” laws and such. I can only tell you that the odds of me being in a McDonald’s restaurant on the first day of their “McRibs” relaunch and being told that they’re sold out after spending two hours in line while a wild pig happens to run into the store are astronomical, right? I never saw the 7-year-old with her leash around the pig, ok? Anyway, it kinda’ went downhill from there... There’s a B-B-Q joint within reach of my ankle bracelet and half-way house that I’d love to take a date on. There’s also a Chick-Fil-A restaurant across the street but I can’t go there because my ankle bracelet will activate and the stupid cops will interrupt my lunch, so only pork lovers need apply! PS: Bob, my half-way house roommate, brags about reaching the Chick-Fil-A with his ankle bracelet. He takes “Candy” there all the time and laughs at me. She’s a toothless crystal meth addict. Bob says that I’m gay because I can’t get a date. Don’t you think Bob is stupid?

PERSONAL INFORMATION

  • Looking for

    woman

  • Relationship

    Divorced

  • Have kids

    Yes, but they don't live with me

  • Wants kids

    No, but my partner can have them

  • Ethnicity

    Caucasian

  • Faith

    Christian

  • Body type

    Average

  • Height

    6'0"

  • Smoke

    Yes, socially

  • Drink

    Yes, socially

INTERESTS

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