SIMILAR PEOPLE
on 377 reviews
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LoisOffline
Woman. 29 years old. Zodiac sign: Aquarius.
Looking for: man. In age: 26-36
I already know that this profile is going to make me appear like the b****iest, most demanding female on here... but I've been on this site a couple of times and enough to know what I'm facing and what I'm sorting through. Truth be told, all of what I'm about to write is probably a giant waste of time, because the men that it's aimed toward won't even bother reading it. I'm getting older, it's a fact. And although I have a pretty good idea of what I do and do not want, I have been proven wrong a time or two when someone who seemed like the right-ish person came along. So although I may have a “list”, it's more of a general guideline than carved in stone requirements.A little about me... I'm sarcastic. I don't like corny humor (although I break that rule myself with an incredibly lame pun from time-to-time). This is probably one of my biggest dealbreakers... I want someone that is witty and sarcastic, but not obnoxiously so... that was atrocious) – then we will probably see eye to eye on humor-related issues. Also, The League is another favorite of mine.I spend too much of my free time watching tv shows. No, I don't just sit around watching TV... I said free time. This usually happens at night after I'm in bed and I can make sweet love to my Roku player. I'm typically behind the times and I'm always looking for a new series to power-watch, so feel free to throw some suggestions at me. My interests are varied... The Wire is one of my favorite all time shows, plus Community, The League, Seinfeld, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Arrested Development....I really liked the first season of Game of Thrones but then it turned into a giant soap-opera where noooooothing haaaaaaappened for whoooooole seeeeeasons at a time. Movies... another love. I typically only get to go see movies if I'm dating someone. I completely hate crowds and so I intentionally go to matinees whenever possible. My movie list is all over the place, so I wouldn't even know where to begin in this tiny box to paint an appropriate picture. And oh... my... gosh, do I love music and concerts. I love almost everything except for modern country, which all sounds exactly the same to me. I think songs about tractors and rednecks are retarded. Other than that, I will go to just about any concert. Except Nickelback or Bon Jovi.... man, I hate them. I grew up on alternative rock mostly, currently big into indie stuff. I like to quote things. I use references frequently and can relate far too many things to Seinfeld episodes. I'm also a suburban white girl closet-hardcore rap lover. Don't really listen to it much these days, but I do enjoy throwing a line or two out from some of my favorite songs or using phrases that it doesn't really seem like I should be using. I hate being socially awkward and yet I'm completely okay with it at the same time.Just within the last year or two I started learning the ins-and-outs of football and I don't have a favorite team, but I do enjoy watching. I did one of those fantasy leagues on the NFL website and discovered that I seriously jinx my players... I'm not saying I really am superstitious but all of my teams or specific players seemed to have rotten luck :p That being said, I have a lot of fun getting into the games so if you like football, it could be a lot of fun for us.I'm a mom of one. If that freaks you out, I understand. I believe in strong families and never thought I would be divorced, but such is life sometimes. Maybe it happened to teach me not to judge so much, I don't know. That being said, I'm not just a mom, I'm a good mom. Occasionally I'll head out for a game of pool and a pitcher with a friend... but even that is usually scheduled for while she's already visiting her grandparents. The biggest reason why I'm writing this is because I get these dudes who want to go out immediately and I just don't have time. Not that I can't make the time, but the fact is I'm not going to make the time unless I think it might be worth it.-worthy). If I went out with every jerkoff that wrote me, I'd never be home. So if you're one of those “I can't be bothered to get to know you first” type of people, then you're on the wrong profile.Here are some of the dealbreakers that I really don't think I could ever bend on:- Bad grammar-.. I don't know what that stuff is but if it has scrolly crap and crosses all over it, I'm not going to be able to get past it. To me, it's the mark of a douchebag. - If you're flashing sideways peace signs in any of your photos. Even worse, shirt off AND flashing a sideways peace sign - as if you just didn't look like enough of a tool. In fact, lets just eliminate the element of surprise and I'll let you know right now that I'm probably going to judge you if any of your close friends in the photo are flashing sideways peace signs. Again... douchebag.- Either of these are equally off-putting: If your first message to me begins with “Hey sexy” or if it's filled with sweet nothings and poetry. Neither of these is a good idea... don't do it.- You listen to and/or enjoy Nickelback. This is not negotiable.- You can't support a family. I said it. I'm almost 30 and although I'm not wedding-crazed, I definitely want it to be an option with someone that I'm seeing in the relatively near future. And although I am working on a home-business and should be able to contribute, I want to be the Stepford Wife who has a clean house and a warm meal on the table when the man comes home from work. If that bothers you, again... wrong profile.You don't have to look like a GQ model, but I'd like someone who is at least reasonably fit. In fact, if you do look like *you* think you're a pretty boy, I probably won't be attracted just because I'll assume you're a d-bag.... (douchey seems to be my go-to assumption, why stop now).Also, height is super important and I know this will upset a lot of the guys on here, but it's true. I'm 5'6” but people usually think I'm taller (I've heard the word model thrown around a few times :p ) I like to wear heels and I don't like being taller than the guy I'm with... it's just the fact of the matter. I haven't dated anyone under 6 ft in the last 5 years and although this isn't one of those carved in stone sort of things, it will be kind of hard for me to get into it. Sorry if that upsets you, but it's the truth.If you're laid back... fantastic. If you're genuine... awesome. I think that it's something that typically shows and I'll tell you right now that I am leery of red flags - so if you're going to come, come correct :pI get excited when I scroll to the bottom of screen on men's profiles and then see that right below it they marked off "Must not have messaged others for Intimate Encounters" and whatnot. Good for you, those of you who did.
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AmeliaOffline
Woman. 29 years old. Zodiac sign: Taurus.
Looking for: man. In age: 26-36
Some of the principles I live by: Don\'t worry be happy Be true to thine own self, Put yourself in their shoes, Do not do unto others what you would not want them do unto you. I choose people of word, reasonable, loyal to selves first of all.