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Kelli, 38
United States, Illinois, Skokie

Offline, last seen Sat, 06 Jun 2026 22:30:23

About Me

I'm looking for something simple and uncomplicated that has the potential to grow. I like to laugh so a good sense of humor is a must. I don't have a lot of set rules about what I want, I'm leaving it open and hopefully I'll know it when I see it.-Cola, sushi, javatinis, The Game of Life, new cell phones, the color orange, oranges the fruit if someone will peel them for me, my dogs (although one more than the other), a sarcastic sense of humor, brunch on Sunday, the Bee Gees, Target, laughing til I cry, memories of my dad, shopping, high heels, spa days, gossip magazines, books, shiny shiny lip gloss, shopping for nothing in particular, free booze, tv shows and movies about zombies (it prepares me for the inevitable zombie apocalypse)Things I hate include traffic, people who won't speed, bad tippers, sitting with strangers at the Japanese Steakhouse, the word "moist", mullets, bad dental hygeine, people who don't wear deoderant, tee shirts with stupid sayings, dog poop in the park, wearing socks, cream cheese icing, fruit in my food, bad hair days, humidity, insanly happy people, people who point with their pinky, doing laundry, attention seekers, being held hostage, most kinds of beer, cry babies, pickles, sweat, bugs in the house, people with fat necks that swallow their heads, midgets, clowns, midgets dressed as clowns and hunchbacks. .. .......... And if you don't think I'm funny it's cool, I'm not a needy people pleaser. Just move on, we clearly wouldn't be comparable. If you have so little to do in life that you need to hate mail me and call me a shallow ****, I'll just assume your a bitter midget clown with bad posture. So really either way I win.

PERSONAL INFORMATION

  • Looking for

    man

  • Relationship

    Never married

  • Have kids

    No

  • Wants kids

    Someday

  • Ethnicity

    Caucasian

  • Faith

    Spiritual but not religious

  • Body type

    Average

  • Height

    5'1"

  • Eye color

    Blue

  • Smoke

    No

  • Drink

    Yes, socially

INTERESTS

Shopping British English Mexican Thai Documentary Boxing
Wink Icon color PERSONAL INFORMATION Fave
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SIMILAR PEOPLE

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stars 4.1 out of 5 based Rated 4.1 / 5 Based  on  377 reviews
  • Sheila from Skokie | Woman | 39 years old | Capricorn
    Sheila

    Online

    Woman. 39 years old. Zodiac sign: Capricorn.

    Looking for: man. In age: 36-46

    Serious people ONLY. I am not in the mood for games nor do i have time for them. So please contact me only if you are serious on getting to know me. Yes i have a job and i can hold my own. My daughter is 18 and my son is 15 almost 16 i don't mind if someone has little kids i love kids but i can't have anymore. Please check your location with my about the distance before you *** I am to far for you please don't even bother contacting me. Thank you in advance Something simple like a coffee

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  • Coleen from Skokie | Woman | 39 years old | Gemini
    Coleen

    Offline

    Woman. 39 years old. Zodiac sign: Gemini.

    Looking for: man. In age: 36-46

    I use the iphone app for meetville which doesn't send through your chat requests .... I am not *** I am just not getting them :(Just a few items to put out there before you waste your time reading my profile:If you don’t have any pics up don’t *** expect me to accept your chat request!If you look 52 and have your age listed as 32 … WE CAN TELL – please be less then 45And please have a job, I know times are rough ... but I can't be your sugar mamma I seen a very interesting comment on another persons page, he wrote “What do you bring to the table?” I thought I would take a shot at answering that question. What I could potentially bring to the table for the right person is a lot. I can be your best friend, your confidant, your lover, the person you cant wait to tell about your great day or the person you want to hug you when you had a rough day, the person that will make you chicken soup when your not feeling well, the person that will tell you when your acting like a fool. I am an excellent cook which means awesome snacks during football games and we can toss around a football during half time – which will give me an excuse to wear my awesome under armor gloves hehe, I am not afraid to break a nail or get dirty, I can hang sheet rock and fix my own toilet …… I can go on and on …. You tell me what you can bring to my table….Here are some things that you might want to know about me:Awesome mommy to 2 daughters13 and 8 y.o.- likeCamping, Hiking and Biking - yes yes yesObsessed with tattoos Love family get togethersSipping wine around the firepit on chilly nights - LOVESummer over Winter :)

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  • Ines from Skokie | Woman | 36 years old | Sagittarius
    Ines

    Offline

    Woman. 36 years old. Zodiac sign: Sagittarius.

    Looking for: man. In age: 33-43

    Looking for a down to earth guy....hardworking, great sense of humor, modest, family-oriented, outgoing....a true gentleman with a happy heart and a good sense of where he's headed in life! It'd be nice to meet a man who's somewhat spontaneous.....a spur of the moment roadtrip, a hike, a mid-week camping trip, fishing, quadding....anything that involves being in the great outdoors is always fun! I'm a small town girl at heart, content in life and find the humor in pretty much everything...the twisted sense of humor in the nursing world helps keep a smile on my face for sure!I'm a busy girl with work....and shift work often poses a challenge when trying to meet new people....but on my days off, I can usually be spotted singing and driving eratically down some highway with a car load of little dogs! Yup, I'm that crazy animal hoarder that hasn't hit the big screen yet! 3 awesome dogs and a big fat cat. They are all rockstars. If you are an animal lover, that would obviously be a good thing! Ha!One thing guys, please refrain from sharing any inappropriate pictures of yourself with me. Your growing wiener inside your shorts is not a magic trick and real women aren't impressed by that! We attract what we put out there. If you can't send the same picture to your mom, I'd rather not see it!Things I am impressed by though....a guy that can pull off looking dead-sexy in a pair of hip-waders or carhartts. Meow. :) I also seem to have an innate attraction to big burly men *** at least 6 ft tall with big paws! :) Call me crazy...but a girl likes what a girl likes! It just makes it real weird if I'm taller than you! LOL! I'm not saying you're 5ft2 and NOT awesome....it's just a personal pref! :)Non-smokers only zone! :)Good luck to you!! Ice fishing season is creeping up on us, so probably a coffee or something simple in the meantime!!. And then onto something a little less lame if we hit it off! LOL!

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